Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
im-fascinated-by-offensive-subject-matter-always-have-been-it-is-natural-to-me-as-any-teach-ive-ever-had-growing-up-could-attest-anthony-jeselnik
i-wish-my-family-had-taken-more-pictures-when-i-was-growing-up-instead-always-having-to-draw-everything-anthony-jeselnik
the-true-meaning-christmas-is-actually-centuries-gullibility-anthony-jeselnik
i-do-dark-humor-i-like-people-who-are-silly-weird-people-who-are-surprising-good-at-what-they-do-anthony-jeselnik
ive-spent-past-two-years-looking-for-my-exgirlfriends-killer-but-no-one-will-do-it-anthony-jeselnik
youll-get-my-assault-weapon-when-you-pry-it-out-my-curious-sixyearolds-cold-dead-hands-anthony-jeselnik
i-have-twelve-year-old-sex-doll-brand-new-anthony-jeselnik
you-know-how-everybody-has-that-one-weird-creepy-uncle-well-seth-green-looks-like-he-got-raped-by-all-them-anthony-jeselnik
with-comics-you-always-talk-about-big-break-but-there-are-lot-big-breaks-in-your-life-not-one-them-makes-big-difference-anthony-jeselnik
thats-worst-way-you-can-hear-about-comedy-material-from-third-persons-blog-story-that-they-wrote-when-they-were-upset-anthony-jeselnik
i-feel-like-every-first-episode-tv-show-is-bad-you-know-it-always-improves-anthony-jeselnik
im-not-voice-reason-im-more-guy-using-these-offensive-topics-as-fodder-to-raise-tension-in-joke-anthony-jeselnik
tom-cruises-prenup-lets-him-keep-his-money-kids-katie-holmes-anthony-jeselnik
my-girlfriend-was-just-killed-in-car-accident-devastating-i-cant-believe-im-only-going-to-have-sex-with-her-one-more-time-anthony-jeselnik
it-seemed-fun-to-play-villain-on-stage-i-wanted-my-jokes-to-be-good-that-i-could-just-calmly-tell-them-on-stage-anthony-jeselnik
my-favorite-sport-is-football-im-die-hard-steelers-fan-favorite-players-were-hines-ward-greg-lloyd-anthony-jeselnik
im-inspired-by-making-people-laugh-at-subjects-that-should-make-them-cry-anthony-jeselnik
doctor-just-told-me-i-cant-have-kids-i-asked-for-second-opinion-he-said-why-no-ones-gonna-to-let-you-take-kids-from-this-hospital-anthony-jeselnik
im-actually-really-nice-guy-once-you-get-to-blow-me-anthony-jeselnik
comedy-central-made-me-delete-boston-marathon-joke-i-wasnt-happy-about-it-but-despite-popular-belief-i-can-occasionally-be-team-player-anthony-jeselnik
i-like-idea-being-funny-guy-in-dramatic-thing-playing-hit-man-with-weird-sense-humor-anthony-jeselnik
people-say-its-easy-to-make-fun-retarded-people-but-its-not-you-really-have-to-explain-it-to-them-anthony-jeselnik
i-love-austin-but-last-time-i-was-in-town-for-twelve-hours-i-was-exhausted-drunk-miserable-but-none-that-was-austins-fault-anthony-jeselnik
i-spent-all-night-feeding-homeless-to-dogs-anthony-jeselnik
my-sister-is-going-to-have-simple-wedding-just-immediate-family-and-whoever-hell-would-want-to-marry-her-anthony-jeselnik
what-do-i-care-if-someone-doesnt-like-me-if-i-like-someone-other-people-hate-it-makes-me-feel-special-i-think-my-fans-feel-that-way-anthony-jeselnik
when-i-was-little-i-would-burn-ants-with-magnifying-glass-but-now-that-im-older-im-more-cat-guy-anthony-jeselnik
an-offended-audience-member-repeating-comedians-act-from-memory-is-worse-than-literally-anything-anthony-jeselnik
fathers-day-makes-me-wish-i-could-talk-to-my-dad-just-one-more-time-instead-all-time-anthony-jeselnik
watching-soccer-just-makes-me-wish-i-was-watching-foosball-anthony-jeselnik
who-do-you-think-was-smarter-jesus-buddha-i-mean-just-in-terms-not-letting-themselves-get-crucified-anthony-jeselnik
i-think-my-friend-jeff-is-gay-i-dont-know-im-bad-with-names-anthony-jeselnik
i-hated-my-mom-for-not-letting-me-play-football-as-kid-so-when-i-have-kids-someday-i-guarantee-theyll-never-meet-their-grandmother-anthony-jeselnik
my-girlfriend-is-despicable-i-just-found-out-she-flirted-with-my-brother-during-my-moms-funeral-while-i-was-asleep-anthony-jeselnik
im-getting-pretty-worried-my-girlfriend-hasnt-gotten-her-period-and-shes-already-14-anthony-jeselnik
larry-king-is-old-hes-actually-one-jews-that-killed-christ-anthony-jeselnik
my-exgirlfriend-owned-parakeet-oh-my-god-that-fking-thing-would-never-shut-up-but-bird-was-cool-anthony-jeselnik
i-think-reason-i-became-funny-was-because-if-i-made-people-laugh-they-would-let-me-keep-talking-anthony-jeselnik
i-dont-have-much-racial-stuff-in-my-act-and-no-ones-ever-really-threatened-me-to-my-face-threats-on-internet-dont-bother-me-much-anthony-jeselnik
sure-retarded-jokes-write-themselves-but-spelling-is-always-way-off-anthony-jeselnik
the-best-way-to-break-up-with-girl-is-like-im-taking-off-bandaid-slowly-in-shower-anthony-jeselnik
i-got-email-from-my-ex-telling-me-that-she-has-aids-i-didnt-know-how-to-comfort-her-i-just-wrote-back-i-know-anthony-jeselnik
mike-tyson-what-can-i-say-about-you-that-hasnt-already-been-title-richard-pryor-album-anthony-jeselnik
i-try-to-retire-jokes-as-soon-as-i-can-once-i-put-them-on-album-but-i-cant-think-anything-i-just-stopped-doing-for-no-reason-anthony-jeselnik
its-always-difficult-when-someone-close-to-you-passes-away-but-its-really-tough-when-theyre-on-top-you-anthony-jeselnik
when-my-girlfriend-cooks-dinner-im-happy-to-do-dishes-because-i-make-her-wash-dishes-when-i-take-her-to-restaurant-anthony-jeselnik
you-look-like-you-deep-fry-your-hands-before-you-bite-your-fingernails-anthony-jeselnik
i-want-to-marry-kind-girl-that-walks-out-abortion-clinic-with-lollipop-anthony-jeselnik
i-would-love-to-dj-royal-wedding-just-i-could-play-candle-in-wind-nonstop-anthony-jeselnik
when-i-was-seven-i-broke-my-leg-playing-soccer-just-to-feel-something-anthony-jeselnik
every-comic-went-through-their-mitch-hedberg-phase-glasses-hair-in-face-you-knew-immediately-when-they-were-doing-it-anthony-jeselnik
i-killed-squirrel-once-with-car-twice-with-tennis-racket-anthony-jeselnik
valentines-day-was-created-by-greeting-card-industry-to-get-pussy-anthony-jeselnik
every-sunday-my-dad-calls-to-ask-if-i-went-to-church-and-every-sunday-i-lie-say-sorry-wrong-number-anthony-jeselnik
i-feel-worthless-my-girlfriend-was-attacked-on-subway-yesterday-and-i-cant-even-enjoy-it-anthony-jeselnik
im-not-voice-reason-im-more-guy-using-these-offensive-topics-as-fodder-to-raise-tension-in-joke
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