Aziz Ansari Quotes

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Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true. -Aziz Ansari
I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing. -Aziz Ansari
I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment. -Aziz Ansari
For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid. -Aziz Ansari
I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road. -Aziz Ansari
I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship. -Aziz Ansari
Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings. -Aziz Ansari
One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack. -Aziz Ansari
It's the hardest thing to come up with an hour of material that can consistently keep people laughing. -Aziz Ansari
The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff. -Aziz Ansari
It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way. -Aziz Ansari
If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights... -Aziz Ansari
You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play. -Aziz Ansari
Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession. -Aziz Ansari
The four sweetest words in the English language
Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes. -Aziz Ansari
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up. -Aziz Ansari
Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life. -Aziz Ansari
If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it. -Aziz Ansari
Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation. -Aziz Ansari
When you meet someone you really like and connect with, I think that's very special, and not to be taken for granted. -Aziz Ansari
Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world. -Aziz Ansari
I've always tried to maintain that I don't have any advice to give. I'm a curious observer. -Aziz Ansari
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