Bill Bryson Quotes

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I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth. -Bill Bryson
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There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. -Bill Bryson
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The whole of the global economy is based on supplying the cravings of two per cent of the world's population. -Bill Bryson
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He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor. -Bill Bryson
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A bank robber in Los Angeles told the clerk not to give him cash, but to deposit the money in his checking account. -Bill Bryson
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It was an especially wonderful time to be a noisy moron. -Bill Bryson
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You may find that your parents are the most delightful people, but you don't want to live with them. -Bill Bryson
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It's an unnerving thought that we may be the living universe's supreme achievement and its worst nightmare simultaneously. -Bill Bryson
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Traveling is more fun - hell, life is more fun - if you can treat it as a series of impulses. -Bill Bryson
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She would only make me take my seat if I didn't act calm and Swiss about it all. -Bill Bryson
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Noting the lack of crime or security in the Netherlands, the author asked a native who guarded a national landmark. He got the replay,
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Even with the benefit of steroids most modern players still couldn't hit as many home runs as Babe Ruth hit on hotdogs. -Bill Bryson
even-with-benefit-steroids-most-modern-players-still-couldnt-hit-as-many-home-runs-as-babe-ruth-hit-on-hotdogs-bill-bryson
Distance changes utterly when you take the world on foot. A mile becomes a long way, two miles literally considerable, ten miles whopping, fifty miles at the very limits of conception. The world, you realize, is enormous in a way that only you and a small community of fellow hikers know. Planetary scale is your little secret. Life takes on a neat simplicity, too. Time ceases to have any meaning. When it is dark, you go to bed, and when it is light again you get up, and everything in between is just in between. It's quite wonderful, really. You have no engagements, commitments, obligations, or duties; no special ambitions and only the smallest, least complicated of wants; you exist in a tranquil tedium, serenely beyond the reach of exasperation, 'far removed from the seats of strife, ' as the early explorer and botanist William Bartram put it. All that is required of you is a willingness to trudge. There is no point in hurrying because you are not actually going anywhere. However far or long you plod, you are always in the same place: in the woods. It's where you were yesterday, where you will be tomorrow. The woods is one boundless singularity. Every bend in the path presents a prospect indistinguishable from every other, every glimpse into the trees the same tangled mass. For all you know, your route could describe a very large, pointless circle. In a way, it would hardly matter. At times, you become almost certain that you slabbed this hillside three days ago, crossed this stream yesterday, clambered over this fallen tree at least twice today already. But most of the time you don't think. No point. Instead, you exist in a kind of mobile Zen mode, your brain like a balloon tethered with string, accompanying but not actually part of the body below. Walking for hours and miles becomes as automatic, as unremarkable, as breathing. At the end of the day you don't think, 'Hey, I did sixteen miles today, ' any more than you think, 'Hey, I took eight-thousand breaths today.' It's just what you do.

Bill Bryson
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The romance of travel wasn't always terribly evident to those who were actually experiencing it. -Bill Bryson
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Bulgaria, I reflected as I walked back to the hotel, isn't a country; it's a near-death experience. -Bill Bryson
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Perhaps it's my natural pessimism, but it seems that an awfully large part of travel these days is to see things while you still can. -Bill Bryson
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What is it about maps? I could look at them all day, earnestly studying the names of towns and villages I have never heard of and will never visit... -Bill Bryson
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