Chris Rock Quotes

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Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. -Chris Rock
karaoke-isnt-fair-when-youre-a-comedian-the-whole-idea-is-to-get-people-laughing-and-enjoying-themselves-and-im-a-professional-funny-guy
Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes. -Chris Rock
movies-have-takes-but-plays-are-like-life-you-dont-really-get-takes
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. -Chris Rock
right-now-my-job-is-that-im-like-an-ambulance-chaser-ive-got-to-look-for-movies-with-white-guys-falling-out-of-them
I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge. -Chris Rock
i-think-my-best-work-is-when-im-kind-of-in-charge
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. -Chris Rock
there-are-only-three-things-women-need-in-life-food-water-and-compliments
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. -Chris Rock
you-dont-pay-taxes-they-take-taxes
A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage. -Chris Rock
a-sense-of-humor-is-great-it-goes-a-long-long-way-in-a-marriage
A man is basically as faithful as his options. -Chris Rock
a-man-is-basically-as-faithful-as-his-options
Jude Law is in so many movies, that I went to one, and when I walked out they were showing another on the back wall. -Chris Rock
jude-law-is-in-so-many-movies-that-i-went-to-one-and-when-i-walked-out-they-were-showing-another-on-the-back-wall
You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere. -Chris Rock
you-could-be-married-and-bored-or-single-and-lonely-aint-no-happiness-nowhere
A man is only as faithful as his options -Chris Rock
a-man-is-only-as-faithful-as-his-options
Ja Rule is not Tupac -Chris Rock
ja-rule-is-not-tupac
Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect. -Chris Rock
standup-comedy-is-like-lowest-medium-in-all-show-business-in-levels-respect-chris-rock
After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college. -Chris Rock
after-i-left-high-school-got-my-ged-i-studied-broadcast-journalism-for-year-at-community-college-chris-rock
Community college is like a disco with books:
community-college-is-like-disco-with-books-heres-ten-dollars-let-me-get-my-learn-on-chris-rock
Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense. -Chris Rock
men-are-handicapped-when-it-comes-to-arguing-cause-we-have-need-to-make-sense-chris-rock
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense -Chris Rock
you-cannot-win-in-fight-against-women-cause-men-have-need-to-make-sense-chris-rock
You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property. -Chris Rock
you-know-youre-rich-when-you-have-to-drive-for-half-hour-to-get-to-your-house-once-youre-on-your-property-chris-rock
A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000. -Chris Rock
a-black-man-will-be-elected-president-united-states-im-sorry-thats-in-year-10000-chris-rock
If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money. -Chris Rock
if-youre-president-you-only-have-two-jobs-peace-money-chris-rock
I don't need a president with a bucket list! -Chris Rock
i-dont-need-president-with-bucket-list-chris-rock
Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded? -Chris Rock
is-america-ready-for-black-president-well-i-say-we-just-had-retarded-one-when-did-being-black-become-bigger-deterrent-than-being-retarded-chris-rock
If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny. -Chris Rock
if-homeless-person-has-funny-sign-he-hasnt-been-homeless-for-that-long-a-real-homeless-person-is-too-hungry-to-be-funny-chris-rock
Women need food, water, and compliments That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes. -Chris Rock
women-need-food-water-compliments-thats-right-and-occasional-pair-shoes-chris-rock
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right. -Chris Rock
only-woman-can-make-you-feel-wrong-for-doing-something-right-chris-rock
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty. -Chris Rock
if-woman-tells-you-shes-twenty-looks-sixteen-shes-twelve-if-she-tells-you-shes-twentysix-looks-twentysix-shes-damn-near-forty-chris-rock
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies. -Chris Rock
men-lie-most-women-tell-biggest-lies-chris-rock
Men are as faithful as their options. -Chris Rock
men-are-as-faithful-as-their-options-chris-rock
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