Craig Kilborn Quotes

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Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
I have a wonderful respect for old people. -Craig Kilborn
President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.' -Craig Kilborn
I'm against gay marriage. I think marriage is a sacred union between a man and a pregnant woman. -Craig Kilborn
The sodomy laws have been overturned, so now we can overturn each other. -Craig Kilborn
Critics say Arnold has no previous government experience, but advisers say he's clearly the most qualified Austrian, ex-Mr. Universe in the race. -Craig Kilborn
President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one. -Craig Kilborn
President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers. -Craig Kilborn
You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?' -Craig Kilborn
President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.' -Craig Kilborn
John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle. -Craig Kilborn
The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk. -Craig Kilborn
In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him there. -Craig Kilborn
In a new poll 54 percent believed President Bush exaggerated the size of Iraq's missile threat. Hey, he's a guy. -Craig Kilborn
Ironically, the possibility that the president dodged his military service has increased his approval ratings with Democrats by 80 percent. -Craig Kilborn
Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke. -Craig Kilborn
The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on. -Craig Kilborn
Here in California, one candidate for governor is a 100-year-old woman. She's going door-to-door and asking one simple question - 'Do I live here?' -Craig Kilborn
Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress. -Craig Kilborn
There has been no electricity in Baghdad for a week and the people are angry. You would be angry too if you couldn't watch your brand new stolen TV. -Craig Kilborn
I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese. -Craig Kilborn
Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down. -Craig Kilborn
Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card. -Craig Kilborn
Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight. -Craig Kilborn
Lot of people wondering if John Kerry supports gay marriages. Here's a hint ... he gets $1,000 haircuts. -Craig Kilborn
John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit. -Craig Kilborn
Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry. -Craig Kilborn
This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.' -Craig Kilborn
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