Dana Gould Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
i-know-that-big-important-things-dont-just-come-together-overnight-but-ive-been-me-for-long-time-now-its-still-not-working-dana-gould
my-dog-keeps-looking-at-me-as-if-he-knows-my-secret-as-if-he-he-alone-can-see-my-soul-that-he-wants-this-pork-chop-dana-gould
a-lot-people-are-looking-for-their-soul-mates-along-way-its-nice-to-bump-into-some-genital-pals-dana-gould
the-cadillac-escalade-is-perfect-vehicle-for-pimp-with-growing-family-dana-gould
i-dont-want-to-appear-to-be-placing-blame-but-as-far-my-life-is-concerned-everything-is-pretty-much-my-dads-balls-fault-dana-gould
life-is-like-jury-duty-just-do-it-get-it-over-with-dana-gould
my-life-is-just-like-breaking-bad-except-instead-chemistry-teacher-im-just-guy-instead-making-meth-i-dont-do-much-dana-gould
life-is-like-the-muppet-show-but-instead-muppets-theres-anxiety-dana-gould
drum-competitions-are-called-such-because-no-one-wants-to-win-big-beat-off-dana-gould
wrote-science-fiction-novel-about-man-who-wins-argument-with-his-wife-but-it-was-rejected-for-being-too-farfetched-dana-gould
somewhere-woman-is-praying-her-toddler-wins-beauty-pageant-i-say-this-because-sometimes-people-wonder-why-god-lets-tornadoes-happen-dana-gould
i-went-to-high-school-with-some-wonderful-people-but-my-entire-high-school-experience-was-just-waiting-to-leave-dana-gould
did-you-know-that-dog-heaven-cat-hell-were-same-place-dana-gould
every-thanksgiving-we-feed-homeless-they-may-join-us-as-we-celebrate-other-people-finding-home-dana-gould
if-youre-selling-something-on-craiglist-its-never-good-idea-to-end-description-with-may-have-lice-dana-gould
if-my-dog-wants-to-know-why-i-didnt-feed-him-this-morning-he-may-want-to-rethink-walking-out-room-when-im-telling-him-joke-dana-gould
how-come-when-people-wear-half-shirts-its-always-top-half-dana-gould
a-giant-python-was-discovered-in-florida-spooky-news-for-state-that-derives-half-its-income-from-giant-mouse-dana-gould
competition-is-death-art-dana-gould
centuries-ago-human-beings-created-marriage-later-they-looked-to-sky-dreamt-traveling-to-moon-coincidence-dana-gould
theres-nothing-like-clown-with-boner-to-remind-you-that-youre-having-nightmare-dana-gould
every-day-is-gift-that-said-ive-gotten-some-pretty-shitty-gifts-over-years-dana-gould
when-all-people-covered-in-tattoos-turn-about-70-years-old-theyre-going-to-look-like-strange-race-melting-clowns-dana-gould
its-been-years-since-any-hillbilly-has-reported-getting-sodomized-by-alien-did-they-break-up-not-tell-us-dana-gould
cowboy-boots-with-suit-youre-rough-tough-businessman-chaps-with-bow-tie-youre-in-rough-tough-man-business-dana-gould
cotton-candy-like-eating-cloud-diabetes-dana-gould
despite-primitive-brain-octopus-possesses-intricate-system-that-helps-it-decide-which-tentacle-to-masturbate-with-dana-gould
in-world-war-pain-suffering-all-i-want-for-christmas-is-underwater-watch-silver-clutch-rod-for-my-dirt-bike-dana-gould
in-midst-all-candy-commercialism-lets-not-lose-sight-true-meaning-halloween-tree-worship-animal-sacrifice-dana-gould
they-say-that-cats-are-only-animal-that-can-sit-in-your-lap-ignore-you-to-which-i-say-youve-never-been-to-spearmint-rhino-dana-gould
showing-joy-by-jumping-up-down-clapping-goes-away-at-some-point-between-preschool-being-old-enough-to-go-to-orgies-dana-gould
unshaven-dudes-in-hoodies-ski-caps-look-hip-cool-until-they-too-close-to-grocery-cart-full-dented-cans-dana-gould
why-is-it-when-i-have-nothing-to-do-i-drink-more-coffee-its-as-if-im-in-big-hurry-to-get-nothing-done-dana-gould
a-big-blizzard-proves-theres-no-global-warming-in-same-way-being-out-milk-proves-theres-no-such-thing-as-cows-dana-gould
just-saw-woman-with-big-tattoo-jesus-on-her-back-i-guess-its-ixnay-on-oggy-styleday-dana-gould
if-jesus-was-baby-there-was-point-on-that-holiest-nights-in-that-holiest-mangers-where-he-made-big-holy-load-dana-gould
why-do-i-always-meet-women-as-im-leaving-dog-park-with-big-bag-poop-and-its-always-on-day-i-forgot-my-dog-dana-gould
if-life-begins-at-conception-but-you-can-be-born-again-later-only-to-live-on-eternally-after-death-whats-big-deal-about-anything-dana-gould
if-studies-on-lab-rats-are-any-indication-human-beings-have-deepseated-fear-big-scary-cat-being-let-into-their-cage-dana-gould
the-elephant-man-claimed-his-head-was-big-because-its-full-dreams-actually-its-because-his-skull-was-shaped-like-turkey-dana-gould
theres-big-difference-between-poll-workers-pole-workers-sadly-dana-gould
i-have-all-my-exgirlfriends-lumped-into-one-big-girlfriend-i-called-mandy-my-another-neurotic-disappointment-yes-dana-gould
i-like-to-think-doritos-as-emotional-packing-material-to-safeguard-feelings-ive-swallowed-dana-gould
lets-all-start-wearing-bolo-ties-when-they-become-hip-again-well-all-say-we-were-kidding-dana-gould
i-feel-sorry-for-high-school-teams-still-named-cougars-now-what-does-coach-say-get-out-there-play-like-horny-old-ladies-dana-gould
when-i-was-in-high-school-girls-made-fun-me-for-liking-vampire-movies-now-id-be-their-king-time-machine-where-are-you-dana-gould
catholic-church-reasserts-its-moral-authority-on-contraception-if-god-believed-in-birth-control-altar-boys-would-have-uterus-dana-gould
i-was-altar-boy-in-roman-catholic-church-no-priest-ever-laid-hand-on-me-thats-me-always-bridesmaid-dana-gould
i-dont-like-to-generalize-but-if-you-see-guy-with-his-shirt-tucked-into-his-shorts-hes-probably-killed-three-four-children-dana-gould
i-bet-when-all-punctuation-marks-have-party-they-quietly-look-at-exclamation-points-wife-think-that-poor-woman-dana-gould
dogs-putting-lie-to-ageold-saying-i-could-never-love-anyone-who-ate-diaper-dana-gould
in-effort-to-look-cool-i-am-going-to-stop-shouting-hey-you-at-airplanes-dana-gould
what-men-say-im-sorry-honey-i-was-wrong-what-men-think-id-love-chipwich-i-should-go-get-one-dana-gould
the-circus-goes-from-town-to-town-why-run-away-to-join-it-it-should-be-ive-decided-to-wait-for-circus-to-come-dana-gould
every-time-i-fold-babys-clothes-i-feel-like-giant-that-got-housekeeping-job-with-nice-family-dana-gould
my-first-open-mic-was-fantastic-i-crushed-and-my-second-mic-was-as-bad-as-my-first-one-was-good-dana-gould
anything-is-possible-if-you-believe-in-yourself-said-guidance-counsellor-stifling-laugh-dana-gould
have-you-ever-had-gay-friend-lose-weight-you-cant-decide-if-its-good-news-not-hey-you-look-great-dana-gould
somewhere-theres-someone-whos-masturbation-ritual-ends-with-them-setting-up-ventriloquist-dummies-facing-bed-i-mean-someone-else-dana-gould
getting-plastic-surgery-in-your-late-70s-its-kind-like-painting-your-house-as-fire-approaches-just-die-theres-no-shame-in-it-dana-gould
maybe-next-three-star-wars-movies-will-tell-story-how-last-three-star-wars-movies-got-shitty-dana-gould
a-lot-people-think-my-sarcasm-comes-from-insecurity-defensiveness-but-i-assure-you-im-just-being-petty-cruel-dana-gould
as-anyone-whos-ever-adopted-dog-will-tell-you-theres-always-fear-that-one-day-birth-parents-will-come-scratching-at-door-dana-gould
if-abe-lincoln-took-part-in-republican-debates-he-would-look-out-place-with-his-intelligence-compassion-gaping-head-wound-dana-gould
christ-was-born-in-manger-laying-down-amongst-donkeys-ang-goats-he-was-given-gifts-incense-perfume-no-kidding-dana-gould
my-dogs-love-me-of-course-by-love-i-mean-poop-by-me-i-mean-everywhere-dana-gould
theres-something-profoundly-disturbing-about-watching-old-guy-eat-sandwich-dana-gould
had-audition-for-pilot-today-but-realized-i-could-save-gas-help-environment-by-pissing-up-rope-here-at-home-dana-gould
the-average-permanent-lasts-about-four-months-dana-gould
they-say-that-god-is-in-details-then-again-they-also-say-that-devil-is-in-details-boy-talk-about-awkward-dana-gould
our-grocery-store-now-has-selfcheckout-for-your-convenience-its-like-getting-punched-in-throat-for-your-comfort-dana-gould
what-do-people-in-prison-say-when-they-meet-new-friends-give-me-your-cell-number-dana-gould
there-is-no-fast-easy-shortcut-for-word-abbreviation-dana-gould
our-dog-just-wanders-around-house-with-concerned-look-on-his-face-dogs-are-just-people-who-cant-find-their-phone-dana-gould
i-love-my-dog-but-since-kids-came-along-petting-has-gone-out-our-relationship-dana-gould
my-dog-is-old-she-now-has-lot-cats-dana-gould
dogs-best-friend-you-will-ever-have-that-pees-on-your-couch-stays-your-friend-dana-gould
i-love-it-when-dogs-yawn-especially-when-its-in-middle-another-dogs-speech-dana-gould
the-expression-working-like-dog-dates-back-to-time-in-america-when-men-would-rise-early-then-lie-around-all-day-lick-their-balls-dana-gould
approached-literally-theres-but-hairs-difference-between-youd-better-not-pout-youd-better-not-cry-dont-scream-dana-gould
my-whole-approach-to-marriage-is-simple-my-wife-will-do-something-that-drives-me-insane-i-wont-say-anything-then-later-ill-die-cancer-dana-gould
take-away-robots-special-effects-star-wars-is-just-simple-story-group-friends-planning-terrorist-attack-dana-gould
the-simple-act-smiling-at-people-makes-world-better-place-unless-its-day-you-decide-to-walk-around-with-your-dong-out-dana-gould
know-someone-you-hate-give-their-kid-kazoo-dana-gould
if-im-alone-in-car-i-fart-i-still-laugh-at-it-its-little-things-that-keep-us-civilised-dana-gould
even-if-i-say-everyone-in-village-died-diarrhea-i-still-laugh-little-after-diarrhea-dana-gould