Dave Barry Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
the-four-building-blocks-of-the-universe-are-fire-water-gravel-and-vinyl
it-is-a-scientific-fact-that-your-body-will-not-absorb-cholesterol-if-you-take-it-from-another-persons-plate
camping-is-natures-way-of-promoting-the-motel-business
what-i-look-forward-to-is-continued-immaturity-followed-by-death
i-want-a-pit-crew-i-hate-the-procedure-i-currently-have-to-go-through-when-i-have-car-problems
the-internet-is-the-most-important-single-development-in-the-history-of-human-communication-since-the-invention-of-call-waiting
the-internet-transforming-society-and-shaping-the-future-through-chat
well-try-to-cooperate-fully-with-the-irs-because-as-citizens-we-feel-a-strong-patriotic-duty-not-to-go-to-jail
skiing-combines-outdoor-fun-with-knocking-down-trees-with-your-face
bill-gates-is-a-very-rich-man-today-and-do-you-want-to-know-why-the-answer-is-one-word-versions
to-an-adolescent-there-is-nothing-in-the-world-more-embarrassing-than-a-parent
gravity-is-a-contributing-factor-in-nearly-73-percent-of-all-accidents-involving-falling-objects
if-you-were-to-open-up-a-babys-head-and-i-am-not-for-a-moment-suggesting-that-you-should-you-would-find-nothing-but-an-enormous-drool-gland
you-should-not-confuse-your-career-with-your-life
the-word-aerobics-comes-from-two-greek-words-aero-meaning-ability-to-and-bics-meaning-withstand-tremendous-boredom
i-now-realize-that-the-small-hills-you-see-on-ski-slopes-are-formed-around-the-bodies-of-fortysevenyearolds-who-tried-to-learn-snowboarding
to-better-understand-why-you-need-a-personal-computer-lets-take-a-look-at-the-pathetic-mess-you-call-your-life
a-computer-makes-it-possible-to-do-in-half-an-hour-tasks-which-were-completely-unnecessary-to-do-before
a-program-is-a-spell-cast-over-a-computer-turning-input-into-error-messages
there-are-two-distinctive-classes-of-people-today-those-who-have-personal-computers-and-those-who-have-several-thousand-extra-dollars-apiece
you-can-say-any-fool-thing-to-a-dog-and-the-dog-will-give-you-this-look-that-says-my-god-youre-right-i-never-wouldve-thought-of-that
sharks-are-as-tough-as-those-football-fans-who-take-their-shirts-off-during-games-in-chicago-in-january-only-more-intelligent
the-most-powerful-force-in-the-universe-is-gossip
nobody-cares-if-you-cant-dance-well-just-get-up-and-dance
the-democrats-seem-to-be-basically-nicer-people-but-they-have-demonstrated-time-and-again-that-they-have-the-management-skills-of-celery
electricity-is-actually-made-up-of-extremely-tiny-particles-called-electrons-that-you-cannot-see-with-the-naked-eye-unless-you-have-been-drinking
we-believe-that-electricity-exists-because-the-electric-company-keeps-sending-us-bills-for-it-but-we-cannot-figure-out-how-it-travels-inside-wires
the-ultimate-camping-trip-was-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition
my-problem-with-chess-was-that-all-my-pieces-wanted-to-end-the-game-as-soon-as-possible
the-primary-function-of-the-government-is-and-here-i-am-quoting-directly-from-the-us-constitution-to-spew-out-paper
although-golf-was-originally-restricted-to-wealthy-overweight-protestants-today-its-open-to-anybody-who-owns-hideous-clothing
scientists-now-believe-that-the-primary-biological-function-of-breasts-is-to-make-males-stupid
the-nuclear-generator-of-brain-sludge-is-television
the-sixties-are-now-considered-a-historical-period-just-like-the-roman-empire
for-me-the-worst-part-of-playing-golf-by-far-has-always-been-hitting-the-ball
my-son-does-not-appreciate-classical-musicians-such-as-the-stones-he-is-more-into-bands-with-names-like-heave-and-squatting-turnips
you-can-only-be-young-once-but-you-can-always-be-immature
thus-the-metric-system-did-not-really-catch-on-in-the-states-unless-you-count-the-increasing-popularity-of-the-ninemillimeter-bullet
another-important-rule-affairhaving-never-be-discreet-at-office-dave-barry
england-is-popular-foreign-country-to-visit-because-people-there-speak-some-english-dave-barry
i-called-company-asked-to-speak-to-bob-the-person-who-answered-said-bob-is-on-vacation-would-you-like-to-hold-dave-barry
todays-beauty-ideal-strictly-enforced-by-media-is-person-with-same-level-body-fat-as-paper-clip-dave-barry
it-may-be-meaningless-but-at-least-its-gesture-dave-barry
i-have-friend-named-doris-who-argues-on-good-authority-that-single-biggest-cause-global-warming-is-menopause-dave-barry
if-security-personnel-do-their-job-properly-they-just-might-cause-you-to-miss-your-plane-thereby-possibly-saving-your-life-dave-barry
one-key-lesson-history-is-that-virtually-anything-including-afternoon-evening-thundershowers-causes-germany-to-invade-belgium-dave-barry
this-nation-is-friendly-that-leading-cause-injury-is-getting-passionately-embraced-by-strangers-dave-barry
and-thats-wonderful-thing-about-family-travel-it-provides-you-with-experiences-that-will-remain-locked-forever-in-scar-tissue-your-mind-dave-barry
chair-lifts-need-to-be-in-some-places-that-we-can-get-to-wonderful-views-without-having-to-hike-to-them-dave-barry
canada-as-you-know-is-major-important-nation-boasting-sophisticated-cosmopolitan-culture-that-was-tragically-destroyed-last-week-by-beavers-dave-barry