She gave a shiver, and suddenly clutched her arms about her body. She spoke, Gascoigne thought, with an exhilarated fatigue, the kind that comes after the first blush of love, when the self has lost its mooring, and, half-drowning, succumbs to a fearful tide. But addiction was not love; it could not be love. Gascoigne could not romanticize the purple shadows underneath her eyes, her wasted limbs, the dreamy disorientation with which she spoke; but even so, he thought, it was uncanny that opium's ruin could mirror love's raptures with such fidelity.
gave quotesshiver quotessuddenly quotesclutched quotesarms quotesbody quotesspoke quotesgascoigne quotesthought quotesexhilarated quotesfatigue quoteskind quotesblush quoteslove quoteslost quotesmooring quoteshalfdrowning quotessuccumbs quotesfearful quotestide quotesaddiction quoteslove quoteslove quotesromanticize quotespurple quotesshadows quotesunderneath quoteseyes quoteswasted quoteslimbs quotesdreamy quotesdisorientation quotesspoke quotesuncanny quotesopiums quotesruin quotesmirror quotesloves quotesraptures quotesfidelity quotes
What was glimpsed in Aquarius-what was envisioned, believed in, prophesied, predicted, doubted, and forewarned-is made, in Pisces, manifest. Those solitary visions that, but a month ago, belonged only to the dreamer, will now acquire the form and substance of the real. We were of our own making, and we shall be our own end. And after Pisces? Out of the womb, the bloody birth. We do not follow: we cannot cross from last to first. Aries will not admit a collective point of view, and Taurus will not relinquish the subjective. Gemini's code is an exclusive one. Cancer seeks a source, Leo, a purpose, and Virgo, a design; but these are projects undertaken singly. Only in the zodiac's second act will we begin to show ourselves: in Libra, as a notion, in Scorpio, as a quality, and in Sagittarius, as a voice. In Capricorn we will gain memory, and in Aquarius, vision; it is only in Pisces, the last and oldest of the zodiacal signs, that we acquire a kind of selfhood, something whole. But the doubled fish of Pisces, that mirrored womb of self and self-awareness, is an ourobouros of mind-both the will of fate, and the fated will-and the house of self-undoing is a prison built by prisoners, airless, door-less, and mortared from within. These alterations come upon us irrevocably, as the hands of the clock-face come upon the hour.
glimpsed quotesaquariuswhat quotesenvisioned quotesbelieved quotesprophesied quotespredicted quotesdoubted quotesforewarnedis quotesmade quotespisces quotesmanifest quotessolitary quotesvisions quotesmonth quotesago quotesbelonged quotesdreamer quotesacquire quotesform quotessubstance quotesreal quotesmaking quotesend quotespisces quoteswomb quotesbloody quotesbirth quotesfollow quotescross quotesaries quotesadmit quotescollective quotespoint quotesview quotestaurus quotesrelinquish quotessubjective quotesgeminis quotescode quotesexclusive quotescancer quotesseeks quotessource quotesleo quotespurpose quotesvirgo quotesdesign quotesprojects quotesundertaken quotessingly quoteszodiacs quotesact quotesbegin quotesshow quoteslibra quotesnotion quotesscorpio quotesquality quotessagittarius quotesvoice quotescapricorn quotesgain quotesmemory quotesaquarius quotesvision quotesoldest quoteszodiacal quotessigns quoteskind quotesselfhood quotesdoubled quotesfish quotesmirrored quoteswomb quotesselfawareness quotesourobouros quotesmindboth quotesfate quotesfated quoteswilland quoteshouse quotesselfundoing quotesprison quotesbuilt quotesprisoners quotesairless quotesdoorless quotesmortared quotesalterations quotesirrevocably quoteshands quotesclockface quoteshour quotes
Cowell Devlin sighed. Yes, he understood Anna Wetherell at long last, but it was not a happy understanding. Devlin had known many women of poor prospects and limited means, whose only transport out of the miserable cage of their unhappy circumstance was the flight of the fantastic. Such fantasies were invariably magical-angelic patronage, invitations into paradise-and Anna's story, touching though it was, showed the same strain of the impossible. Why, it was painfully clear! The most eligible bachelor of Anna's acquaintance possessed a love so deep and pure that all respective differences between them were rendered immaterial? He was not dead-he was only missing? He was sending her 'messages' that proved the depth of his love-and these were messages that only she could hear? It was a fantasy, Devlin thought. It was a fantasy of the girl's own devising. The boy could only be dead.
cowell quotesdevlin quotessighed quotesunderstood quotesanna quoteswetherell quoteslong quoteshappy quotesunderstanding quoteswomen quotespoor quotesprospects quoteslimited quotesmeans quotestransport quotesmiserable quotescage quotesunhappy quotescircumstance quotesflight quotesfantastic quotesfantasies quotesinvariably quotesmagicalangelic quotespatronage quotesinvitations quotesparadiseand quotesannas quotesstory quotestouching quotesshowed quotesstrain quotesimpossible quotespainfully quotesclear quoteseligible quotesbachelor quotesacquaintance quotespossessed quoteslove quotesdeep quotespure quotesrespective quotesdifferences quotesrendered quotesimmaterial quotesdeadhe quotesmissing quotessending quotesmessages quotesproved quotesdepth quotesloveand quotesmessages quoteshear quotesfantasy quotesthought quotesfantasy quotesgirls quotesdevising quotesboy quotesdead quotes
Tonight shall be the very beginning.' 'Was it?' 'It shall be. For me.' 'My beginning was the albatrosses.' 'That is a good beginning; I am glad it is yours. Tonight shall be mine.' 'Ought we to have different ones?' 'Different beginnings? I think we must.' 'Will there be more of them?' 'A great many more. Are your eyes closed?' 'Yes. Are yours?' 'Yes. Though it's so dark it hardly makes a difference.' 'I feel-more than myself.' 'I feel-as though a new chamber of my heart has opened.' 'Listen.' 'What is it?' 'The rain.
tonight quotesbeginning quoteswas quotesit quotesit quotesme quotesmy quotesbeginning quotesalbatrosses quotesthat quotesgood quotesbeginning quotesglad quotesmine quotesought quotesones quotesdifferent quotesbeginnings quotesmust quoteswill quotesthem quotesa quotesgreat quoteseyes quotesclosed quotesyes quotesyours quotesdark quotesmakes quotesdifference quotesi quotesfeelmore quotesmyself quotesfeelas quoteschamber quotesheart quotesopened quoteslisten quoteswhat quotesthe quotesrain quotes
We were talking nonsense, and I said something silly about unrequited love, and he became very serious, and he stopped me, and he said that unrequited love was not possible; that it was not love. He said that love must be freely given, and freely taken, such that the lovers, in joining, make equal halves of something whole.
He and Anna lay facing each other, Staines lying on his left hip, and Anna, on her right, both of them with their knees drawn up to their chests, Staines with one hand tucked beneath his bandaged shoulder, Anna with one hand tucked beneath her cheek. She must have turned toward him, some time in the night: her left arm was flung outward, her fingers reaching, her palm turned down... Devlin came closer... He looked down at Anna and Emery, their mirrored bodies, facing in. They were breathing in tandem. So they are lovers, he thought, looking down at them. So they are lovers, after all. He knew it from the way that they were sleeping.
anna quoteslay quotesfacing quotesstaines quoteslying quotesleft quoteship quotesanna quotesknees quotesdrawn quoteschests quoteshand quotestucked quotesbeneath quotesbandaged quotesshoulder quotescheek quotesturned quotestime quotesnight quotesarm quotesflung quotesoutward quotesfingers quotesreaching quotespalm quotesdevlin quotescloser quoteslooked quotesemery quotesmirrored quotesbodies quotesbreathing quotestandem quoteslovers quotesthought quotesknew quotessleeping quotes
Let's just enjoy it for ourselves. Dawn is such a private hour, don't you think? Such a solitary hour. One always hears that said of midnight, but I think of midnight as remarkably companionable-everyone together, sleeping in the dark.' 'I am afraid I am interrupting your solitude, ' Anna said. 'No, no, ' the boy said. 'Oh, no. Solitude is best enjoyed in company.' He grinned at her, quickly, and Anna smiled back. 'Especially the company of one other soul, ' he added, turning back to the sea. 'It's dreadful to feel alone and really be alone. But I love to enjoy the feeling when I'm not.
enjoy quotesdawn quotesprivate quoteshour quotessolitary quoteshour quoteshears quotesmidnight quotesmidnight quotesremarkably quotescompanionableeveryone quotessleeping quotesdark quotesi quotesafraid quotesinterrupting quotessolitude quotes quotesanna quotesno quotesboy quotesoh quotessolitude quotesenjoyed quotescompany quotesgrinned quotesquickly quotessmiled quotesback quotesespecially quotescompany quotessoul quotesadded quotesturning quotesback quotessea quotesits quotesdreadful quotesfeel quoteslove quotesfeeling quotes
Are you fixing to stay in this country, then, Walter? After you've dug yourself a patch, and made yourself a pile?' 'I expect my luck will decide that question for me.' 'Would you call it lucky to stay, or lucky to go?' 'I'd call it lucky to choose, ' said Moody-surprising himself, for that was not the answer he would have given, three months prior.
fixing quotesstay quotescountry quoteswalter quotesdug quotespatch quotesmade quotespile quotesi quotesexpect quotesluck quotesdecide quotesquestion quotesme quoteswould quotescall quoteslucky quotesstay quotesgo quotesid quoteschoose quotes quotesmoodysurprising quotesanswer quotesmonths quotesprior quotes
I would make up silver lies studded with shards of perfect detail like mosaic splinters, sharp and everlasting, the kind of tiny faultless detail that would make them all sure that what I said was true. I would have alibis. I would bring in other people and teach them a story, and rehearse it so carefully and for so long that soon they'd all start to believe that what they said was actually true.
make quotessilver quoteslies quotesstudded quotesshards quotesperfect quotesdetail quotesmosaic quotessplinters quotessharp quoteseverlasting quoteskind quotestiny quotesfaultless quotestrue quotesalibis quotesbring quotespeople quotesteach quotesstory quotesrehearse quotescarefully quoteslong quotesstart quotes
I have observed that male writers tend to get asked what they think and women what they feel. In my experience, and that of a lot of other women writers, all of the questions coming at them from interviewers tend to be about how lucky they are to be where they are "" about luck and identity and how the idea struck them. The interviews much more seldom engage with the woman as a serious thinker, a philosopher, as a person with preoccupations that are going to sustain them for their lifetime.
observed quotesmale quoteswriters quotestend quotesasked quoteswomen quotesfeel quotesexperience quoteslot quoteswriters quotesquestions quotescoming quotesinterviewers quoteslucky quotesluck quotesidentity quotesidea quotesstruck quotesinterviews quotesseldom quotesengage quoteswoman quotesthinker quotesphilosopher quotesperson quotespreoccupations quotessustain quoteslifetime quotes
For although a man is judged by his actions, by what he has said and done, a man judges himself by what he is willing to do, by what he might have said, or might have done""a judgment that is necessarily hampered, not only by the scope and limits of his imagination, but by the ever-changing measure of his doubt and self-esteem.
I feel very strongly influenced by long-form box-set TV drama... I feel really excited that, at last, the novel has found its on-screen equivalent, because the emotional arcs and changes that you can follow are just so much more like a novel, and so many amazing shows recently have done as much as film can do to show the interior world.