Emo Philips Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
how-many-people-here-have-telekenetic-powers-raise-my-hand
a-computer-once-beat-me-at-chess-but-it-was-no-match-for-me-at-kick-boxing
some-mornings-its-just-not-worth-chewing-through-the-leather-straps
when-i-wake-up-in-the-morning-i-just-cant-get-started-until-ive-had-that-first-piping-hot-pot-of-coffee-oh-ive-tried-other-enemas
he-taught-me-never-to-smile-which-helps-me-when-i-visit-disaster-sites
i-discovered-my-wife-in-bed-with-another-man-and-i-was-crushed-so-i-said-get-off-me-you-two
people-always-ask-me-where-were-you-when-kennedy-was-shot-well-i-dont-have-an-alibi
probably-the-toughest-time-in-anyones-life-is-when-you-have-to-murder-a-loved-one-because-theyre-the-devil
i-was-in-a-bar-the-other-night-hopping-from-barstool-to-barstool-trying-to-get-lucky-but-there-wasnt-any-gum-under-any-of-them
i-love-to-go-to-the-playground-and-watch-the-children-jumping-up-and-down-they-dont-know-im-firing-blanks
computers-arent-intelligent-they-only-think-they-are
pentiums-melt-in-your-pc-not-in-your-hand
some-mornings-it-just-doesnt-seem-worth-it-to-gnaw-through-the-leather-straps
ive-always-suffered-from-complete-inability-to-sense-whos-important-emo-philips
i-had-close-relationship-with-another-kid-when-i-was-growing-up-i-was-his-imaginary-friend-emo-philips
i-used-to-think-that-brain-was-most-wonderful-organ-in-my-body-then-i-realized-who-was-telling-me-this-emo-philips
people-come-up-to-me-say-emo-do-people-really-come-up-to-you-emo-philips
i-go-from-stool-to-stool-in-singles-bars-hoping-to-get-lucky-but-theres-never-any-gum-under-any-them-emo-philips
i-ran-three-miles-today-finally-i-said-lady-take-your-purse-emo-philips
i-got-some-new-underwear-other-day-well-new-to-me-emo-philips
my-classmates-would-copulate-with-anything-that-moved-but-i-never-saw-any-reason-to-limit-myself-emo-philips
my-girlfriend-said-to-me-in-bed-last-night-youre-pervert-i-said-thats-big-word-for-girl-nine-emo-philips
not-everybody-hates-me-only-people-whove-met-me-emo-philips
christmas-seems-to-start-earlier-earlier-every-year-like-this-time-its-on-december-25th-emo-philips
my-parents-were-protective-i-couldnt-even-cross-street-without-them-getting-all-excited-placing-bets-emo-philips
my-grandmothers-brain-was-dead-but-her-heart-was-still-beating-it-was-first-time-we-ever-had-democrat-in-family-emo-philips
i-think-fur-looks-better-on-animal-than-on-human-being-so-i-dress-my-dog-in-mink-teddy-emo-philips
i-dont-know-if-i-have-sexual-magnetism-animal-magnetism-though-sometimes-ill-find-squirrel-stuck-to-my-forehead-emo-philips
back-in-high-school-my-buddies-tried-to-put-make-on-anything-that-moved-i-told-them-why-limit-yourselves-emo-philips
ive-always-had-special-place-in-my-heart-for-old-women-digging-through-garbage-bins-they-saved-my-life-many-times-as-baby-emo-philips
ive-always-thought-best-way-to-teach-kid-not-to-be-scared-dark-is-to-fill-his-daylight-hours-with-as-much-horror-as-possible-emo-philips
i-went-into-gas-station-said-fill-er-up-harry-the-guy-said-regular-i-said-no-put-on-gorrila-suit-dance-like-fairy-emo-philips
i-was-walking-down-street-something-caught-my-eye-dragged-it-fifteen-feet-emo-philips
i-lent-friend-mine-10000-for-plastic-surgery-now-i-dont-know-what-he-looks-like-emo-philips
the-way-i-understand-it-russians-are-sort-combination-evil-incompetence-sort-like-post-office-with-tanks-emo-philips
at-my-lemonade-stand-i-used-to-give-first-glass-away-free-charge-five-dollars-for-second-glass-the-refill-contained-antidote-emo-philips
a-friend-mine-gave-me-philip-glass-record-i-listened-to-it-for-five-hours-before-i-realized-it-had-scratch-on-it-emo-philips
i-dont-have-to-tell-you-folks-about-scuba-diving-so-thatll-save-some-time-emo-philips
my-sister-gained-80-pounds-expecting-her-baby-well-you-get-nervous-waiting-for-those-adoption-papers-to-clear-emo-philips
i-give-money-to-unicef-because-i-like-bang-for-your-buck-aspect-heres-10-go-save-1000-kids-from-blindness-emo-philips
cell-phones-are-like-dogs-nipples-you-dont-have-to-shout-into-them-emo-philips
i-dont-know-how-electricity-works-all-i-know-is-that-it-calms-me-emo-philips
they-have-sign-at-beach-no-glass-bottles-i-think-thats-other-sand-particles-dont-feel-like-underachievers-emo-philips
when-i-was-kid-my-nickname-was-mr-baseball-because-stitches-emo-philips
you-know-lot-girls-go-out-with-me-just-to-further-their-careersdamn-anthropologists-emo-philips
every-night-my-wife-used-to-give-me-foot-massage-and-my-face-would-smell-weird-afterwards-but-emo-philips
recently-ive-ventured-into-mammal-family-thats-good-for-my-sex-life-emo-philips
now-theres-sevenday-waiting-period-to-buy-gun-who-can-stay-mad-that-long-emo-philips
in-our-school-you-were-searched-for-guns-knifes-on-way-in-if-you-didnt-have-any-they-gave-you-some-emo-philips
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