Erma Bombeck Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
dreams-have-only-one-owner-at-a-time-thats-why-dreamers-are-lonely
guilt-the-gift-that-keeps-on-giving
never-go-to-a-doctor-whose-office-plants-have-died
never-lend-your-car-to-anyone-to-whom-you-have-given-birth
car-designers-are-just-going-to-have-to-come-up-with-an-automobile-that-outlasts-the-payments
never-have-more-children-than-you-have-car-windows
it-takes-a-lot-of-courage-to-show-your-dreams-to-someone-else
i-come-from-a-family-where-gravy-is-considered-a-beverage
never-go-to-your-high-school-reunion-pregnant-or-they-will-think-that-is-all-you-have-done-since-you-graduated
when-humor-goes-there-goes-civilization
there-is-a-thin-line-that-separates-laughter-and-pain-comedy-and-tragedy-humor-and-hurt
who-in-their-infinite-wisdom-decreed-that-little-league-uniforms-be-white-certainly-not-a-mother
thanksgiving-dinners-take-eighteen-hours-to-prepare-they-are-consumed-in-twelve-minutes-halftimes-take-twelve-minutes-this-is-not-coincidence
poached-eggs-are-good-poached-animals-are-not
all-of-us-have-moments-in-out-lives-that-test-our-courage-taking-children-into-a-house-with-a-white-carpet-is-one-of-them
housework-is-a-treadmill-from-futility-to-oblivion-with-stopoffs-at-tedium-and-counter-productivity
housework-if-you-do-it-right-will-kill-you
laughter-rises-out-of-tragedy-when-you-need-it-the-most-and-rewards-you-for-your-courage
humor-is-a-spontaneous-wonderful-bit-of-an-outburst-that-just-comes-its-unbridled-its-unplanned-its-full-of-surprises
i-am-not-a-glutton-i-am-an-explorer-of-food
as-a-graduate-of-the-zsa-zsa-gabor-school-of-creative-mathematics-i-honestly-do-not-know-how-old-i-am
you-hear-a-lot-of-dialogue-on-the-death-of-the-american-family-families-arent-dying-theyre-merging-into-big-conglomerates
i-was-terrible-at-straight-items-when-i-wrote-obituaries-my-mother-said-the-only-thing-i-ever-got-them-to-do-was-die-in-alphabetical-order
a-grandmother-pretends-she-doesnt-know-who-you-are-on-halloween
never-accept-a-drink-from-a-urologist
skiing-i-do-not-participate-in-any-sport-with-ambulances-at-the-bottom-of-the-hill
the-only-reason-i-would-take-up-jogging-is-so-that-i-could-hear-heavy-breathing-again
my-second-favorite-household-chore-is-ironing-my-first-being-hitting-my-head-on-the-top-bunk-bed-until-i-faint
a-friend-will-tell-you-she-saw-your-old-boyfriendand-hes-a-priest
why-would-anyone-steal-a-shopping-cart-its-like-stealing-a-twoyearold
some-say-our-national-pastime-is-baseball-not-me-its-gossip
just-think-of-all-those-women-on-the-titanic-who-said-no-thank-you-to-dessert-that-night-and-for-what
you-become-about-as-exciting-as-your-food-blender-the-kids-come-in-look-you-in-the-eye-and-ask-if-anybodys-home
when-a-child-is-locked-in-the-bathroom-with-water-running-and-he-says-hes-doing-nothing-but-the-dog-is-barking-call-911
seize-the-moment-remember-all-those-women-on-the-titanic-who-waved-off-the-dessert-cart
i-will-buy-any-creme-cosmetic-or-elixir-from-a-woman-with-a-european-accent
as-a-child-my-number-one-best-friend-was-the-librarian-in-my-grade-school-i-actually-believed-all-those-books-belonged-to-her
in-general-my-children-refuse-to-eat-anything-that-hasnt-danced-on-television
mothers-words-of-wisdom-answer-me-dont-talk-with-food-in-your-mouth
i-have-a-theory-about-the-human-mind-a-brain-is-a-lot-like-a-computer-it-will-only-take-so-many-facts-and-then-it-will-go-on-overload-and-blow-up
i-have-friend-who-lives-by-threeword-philosophy-seize-moment-just-possibly-she-may-be-wisest-woman-on-this-planet-erma-bombeck
humor-is-spontaneous-wonderful-bit-outburst-that-just-comes-its-unbridled-its-unplanned-its-full-suprises-erma-bombeck
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