Fred Allen Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
i-like-long-walks-especially-when-they-are-taken-by-people-who-annoy-me
an-advertising-agency-is-85-percent-confusion-and-15-percent-commission
i-dont-have-to-look-up-my-family-tree-because-i-know-that-im-the-sap
some-movie-stars-wear-their-sunglasses-even-in-church-theyre-afraid-god-might-recognize-them-and-ask-for-autographs
i-learned-law-so-well-the-day-i-graduated-i-sued-the-college-won-the-case-and-got-my-tuition-back
television-is-a-medium-because-anything-well-done-is-rare
advertising-is-85-confusion-and-15-commission
the-vicepresident-of-an-advertising-agency-is-a-bit-of-executive-fungus-that-forms-on-a-desk-that-has-been-exposed-to-conference
hollywood-is-a-place-where-people-from-iowa-mistake-each-other-for-stars
imitation-is-the-sincerest-form-of-television
whats-on-your-mind-if-you-will-allow-the-overstatement
treat-employees-like-partners-and-they-act-like-partners
he-writes-so-well-he-makes-me-feel-like-putting-the-quill-back-in-the-goose
i-have-just-returned-from-boston-it-is-the-only-sane-thing-to-do-if-you-find-yourself-up-there
television-is-called-a-medium-because-anything-good-on-it-is-rare
television-is-a-device-that-permits-people-who-havent-anything-to-do-to-watch-people-who-cant-do-anything
television-is-the-triumph-of-machine-over-people
washington-is-no-place-for-a-good-actor-the-competition-from-bad-actors-is-too-great
condensed-milk-is-wonderful-i-dont-see-how-they-can-get-cow-to-sit-down-on-those-little-cans-fred-allen
he-dreamed-he-was-eating-shredded-wheat-woke-up-to-find-mattress-half-gone-fred-allen
if-children-could-vote-jesse-jackson-would-be-our-next-president-fred-allen
on-ships-they-call-them-barnacles-in-business-they-attach-themselves-to-desks-are-called-vice-presidents-fred-allen
the-average-vicepresident-is-form-executive-fungus-that-attaches-itself-to-desk-on-boat-this-growth-would-be-called-barnacle-fred-allen
the-world-is-grindstone-life-is-your-nose-fred-allen
it-is-bad-to-suppress-laughter-it-goes-back-down-spreads-to-your-hips-fred-allen
all-i-know-about-humour-is-that-i-dont-know-anything-about-it-fred-allen
group-people-who-individually-can-do-nothing-but-as-group-decide-that-nothing-can-be-done-fred-allen
all-that-comedian-has-to-show-for-his-years-work-aggravation-is-echo-forgotten-laughter-fred-allen
her-hat-is-creation-that-will-never-go-out-style-it-will-just-look-ridiculous-year-after-year-fred-allen
i-cant-understand-why-person-will-take-year-to-write-novel-when-he-can-easily-buy-one-for-few-dollars-fred-allen
three-million-frogs-legs-are-served-in-paris-daily-nobody-knows-what-became-rest-frogs-fred-allen
father-time-is-makeup-man-responsible-for-physical-changes-that-determine-parts-average-actor-is-to-play-fred-allen
during-samuel-johnson-days-they-had-big-men-enjoying-small-talk-today-we-have-small-men-enjoying-big-talk-fred-allen
he-writes-well-he-makes-me-feel-like-putting-my-quill-back-in-my-goose-fred-allen
hanging-is-too-good-for-man-who-makes-puns-he-should-be-drawn-quoted-fred-allen
the-first-thing-that-strikes-visitor-to-paris-is-taxi-fred-allen
radio-is-called-medium-because-it-is-rare-that-anything-is-well-done-fred-allen
a-committee-is-group-unprepared-appointed-by-unwilling-to-do-unnecessary-fred-allen
i-play-musical-instrument-little-but-only-for-my-own-amazement-fred-allen
if-grass-is-greener-in-other-fellows-yard-let-him-worry-about-cutting-it-fred-allen
a-celebrity-is-person-who-works-hard-all-their-life-to-become-well-known-then-wears-dark-glasses-to-avoid-being-recognized-fred-allen
im-going-to-boston-to-see-my-doctor-hes-sick-man-fred-allen
my-hometown-was-dull-that-one-time-tide-went-out-never-came-back-fred-allen
she-used-to-be-teacher-but-she-has-no-class-now-fred-allen
radio-is-bag-mediocrity-where-little-men-with-carbon-minds-wallow-in-sluice-their-own-making-fred-allen
i-always-have-trouble-remembering-three-things-faces-names-i-cant-remember-what-third-thing-is-fred-allen
my-uncle-is-southern-planter-hes-undertaker-in-alabama-fred-allen
the-ss-sierra-was-tenthousandton-vessel-today-lifeboats-bigger-than-sierra-are-found-on-queen-mary-other-luxury-liners-fred-allen
most-us-spend-first-six-days-each-week-sowing-wild-oats-then-we-go-to-church-on-sunday-pray-for-crop-failure-fred-allen
after-quitting-radio-i-was-able-to-live-on-money-i-saved-on-aspirins-fred-allen
i-dont-want-to-own-anything-that-wont-fit-into-my-coffin-fred-allen
he-has-no-idea-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-in-south-where-you-had-to-hold-your-head-down-fred-allen
the-first-time-i-sang-in-church-choir-two-hundred-people-changed-their-religion-fred-allen
english-coffee-tastes-like-water-that-has-been-squeezed-out-wet-sleeve-fred-allen
a-conference-is-gathering-people-who-singly-can-do-nothing-but-together-can-decide-that-nothing-can-be-done
committee-group-men-who-individually-can-do-nothing-but-as-group-decide-that-nothing-can-be-done
a-gentleman-is-any-man-who-wouldnt-hit-woman-with-his-hat-on
a-telescope-will-magnify-star-thousand-times-but-good-press-agent-can-do-even-better
a-committee-is-group-people-who-individually-can-do-nothing-but-who-as-group-can-meet-decide-that-nothing-can-be-done
an-income-tax-form-is-like-laundry-list-either-way-you-lose-your-shirt
if-i-could-get-my-membership-fee-back-id-resign-from-human-race
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