Jack Handey Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
love-is-not-something-that-you-can-put-chains-on-and-throw-into-a-lake-thats-called-houdini-love-is-liking-someone-a-lot
the-face-of-a-child-can-say-it-all-especially-the-mouth-part-of-the-face
if-you-work-on-a-lobster-boat-sneaking-up-behind-someone-and-pinching-him-is-probably-a-joke-that-gets-old-real-fast
i-hope-life-isnt-a-big-joke-because-i-dont-get-it
sometimes-i-think-id-be-better-off-dead-no-wait-not-me-you
if-you-ever-catch-on-fire-try-to-avoid-looking-in-a-mirror-because-i-bet-that-will-really-throw-you-into-a-panic
playing-dead-not-only-comes-in-handy-when-face-to-face-with-bear-but-also-at-important-business-meetings-jack-handey
remember-kids-in-backseat-cause-accidents-accidents-in-backseat-cause-kids-jack-handey
if-i-had-time-to-sit-down-write-thankyou-note-to-everyone-who-sent-me-nice-expensive-present-what-wonderful-world-that-would-be-jack-handey
when-you-die-if-you-get-choice-between-going-to-regular-heaven-pie-heaven-choose-pie-heaven-it-might-be-trick-but-if-its-not-ummmm-boy-jack-handey
do-you-know-what-happens-when-you-slice-golf-ball-in-half-someone-gets-mad-at-you-i-found-this-out-hard-way-jack-handey
i-wish-robot-would-get-elected-president-that-way-when-he-came-to-town-we-could-all-take-shot-at-him-not-feel-too-bad-jack-handey
if-youre-blacksmith-probably-proudest-day-your-life-is-when-you-get-your-first-anvil-how-innocent-you-are-little-blacksmith-jack-handey
if-youre-robbing-bank-your-pants-fall-down-i-think-its-okay-to-laugh-let-your-hostages-laugh-too-because-come-on-life-is-funny-jack-handey
i-dont-understand-people-who-say-life-is-mystery-because-what-is-it-they-want-to-know-jack-handey
before-you-criticize-someone-you-should-walk-mile-in-their-shoes-that-way-when-you-criticize-them-you-are-mile-away-from-them-you-have-their-shoes-jack-handey
cant-marx-brothers-be-arrested-maybe-even-tortured-for-all-confusion-problems-theyve-caused-jack-handey
of-all-warning-sounds-that-animals-make-i-think-one-thats-least-effective-on-me-is-kind-clicking-noise-jack-handey
somebody-told-me-it-was-frightening-how-much-topsoil-we-are-losing-each-year-but-i-told-that-story-around-campfire-nobody-got-scared-jack-handey
i-wish-i-had-kryptonite-cross-because-then-you-could-keep-both-dracula-and-superman-away-jack-handey
for-mad-scientists-who-keep-brains-in-jars-heres-tip-why-not-add-slice-lemon-to-each-jar-for-freshness-jack-handey
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