Jack Handey Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
love-is-not-something-that-you-can-put-chains-on-and-throw-into-a-lake-thats-called-houdini-love-is-liking-someone-a-lot
the-face-of-a-child-can-say-it-all-especially-the-mouth-part-of-the-face
if-you-work-on-a-lobster-boat-sneaking-up-behind-someone-and-pinching-him-is-probably-a-joke-that-gets-old-real-fast
i-hope-life-isnt-a-big-joke-because-i-dont-get-it
sometimes-i-think-id-be-better-off-dead-no-wait-not-me-you
if-you-ever-catch-on-fire-try-to-avoid-looking-in-a-mirror-because-i-bet-that-will-really-throw-you-into-a-panic
playing-dead-not-only-comes-in-handy-when-face-to-face-with-bear-but-also-at-important-business-meetings-jack-handey
remember-kids-in-backseat-cause-accidents-accidents-in-backseat-cause-kids-jack-handey
if-i-had-time-to-sit-down-write-thankyou-note-to-everyone-who-sent-me-nice-expensive-present-what-wonderful-world-that-would-be-jack-handey
when-you-die-if-you-get-choice-between-going-to-regular-heaven-pie-heaven-choose-pie-heaven-it-might-be-trick-but-if-its-not-ummmm-boy-jack-handey
do-you-know-what-happens-when-you-slice-golf-ball-in-half-someone-gets-mad-at-you-i-found-this-out-hard-way-jack-handey
i-wish-robot-would-get-elected-president-that-way-when-he-came-to-town-we-could-all-take-shot-at-him-not-feel-too-bad-jack-handey
if-youre-blacksmith-probably-proudest-day-your-life-is-when-you-get-your-first-anvil-how-innocent-you-are-little-blacksmith-jack-handey
if-youre-robbing-bank-your-pants-fall-down-i-think-its-okay-to-laugh-let-your-hostages-laugh-too-because-come-on-life-is-funny-jack-handey
i-dont-understand-people-who-say-life-is-mystery-because-what-is-it-they-want-to-know-jack-handey
before-you-criticize-someone-you-should-walk-mile-in-their-shoes-that-way-when-you-criticize-them-you-are-mile-away-from-them-you-have-their-shoes-jack-handey
cant-marx-brothers-be-arrested-maybe-even-tortured-for-all-confusion-problems-theyve-caused-jack-handey
of-all-warning-sounds-that-animals-make-i-think-one-thats-least-effective-on-me-is-kind-clicking-noise-jack-handey
somebody-told-me-it-was-frightening-how-much-topsoil-we-are-losing-each-year-but-i-told-that-story-around-campfire-nobody-got-scared-jack-handey
i-wish-i-had-kryptonite-cross-because-then-you-could-keep-both-dracula-and-superman-away-jack-handey
for-mad-scientists-who-keep-brains-in-jars-heres-tip-why-not-add-slice-lemon-to-each-jar-for-freshness-jack-handey
if-i-come-back-as-animal-in-my-next-lifetime-i-hope-its-some-type-parasite-because-this-is-part-where-i-take-it-easy-jack-handey
heres-suggestion-for-new-animal-if-some-new-ones-get-created-evolve-something-that-stings-you-then-laughs-at-you-jack-handey
its-amazing-to-me-that-one-worlds-most-feared-diseases-would-be-carried-by-one-worlds-smallest-animals-real-tiny-dog-jack-handey
whether-they-live-in-igloo-grass-shack-mud-hut-people-around-world-all-want-same-thing-better-house-jack-handey
happiness-is-not-circus-clown-rolling-around-in-big-tractor-tire-that-his-arms-legs-form-spokes-happiness-is-when-he-stops-jack-handey
im-telling-you-just-attach-big-parachute-to-the-plane-itself-is-anyone-listening-to-me-jack-handey
i-think-my-favorite-monster-movie-is-gone-with-wind-because-it-has-that-ear-monster-that-bigdress-monster-jack-handey
i-think-its-high-time-we-started-questioning-old-cliches-like-grunt-big-for-daddy-jack-handey
one-day-i-saw-big-kid-beating-up-little-kid-i-went-over-to-little-kid-gave-him-swift-kick-he-probably-deserved-it-jack-handey
give-me-strength-to-change-things-i-can-grace-to-accept-things-i-cant-change-great-big-bag-money-jack-handey
in-my-opinion-anyone-interested-in-improving-himself-should-not-rule-out-becoming-pure-energy-jack-handey
lets-be-honest-isnt-lot-what-we-call-tap-dancing-really-just-nerves-jack-handey
what-is-it-that-makes-complete-stranger-dive-into-icy-river-to-save-solidgold-baby-maybe-well-never-know-jack-handey
i-came-here-in-peace-seeking-gold-slaves-jack-handey
i-believe-in-making-world-safe-for-our-children-but-not-our-childrens-children-because-i-dont-think-children-should-be-having-sex-jack-handey
if-they-ever-come-up-with-swashbuckling-school-i-think-one-courses-should-be-laughing-then-jumping-off-something-jack-handey
i-think-that-hat-which-has-little-cannon-that-fires-then-goes-back-inside-hat-is-at-least-decade-away-jack-handey
too-bad-you-cant-buy-voodoo-globe-that-you-could-make-earth-spin-real-fast-freak-everybody-out-jack-handey
to-me-theres-no-better-symbol-for-world-than-grasshopper-lying-dead-on-gravel-road-maybe-theres-globe-lying-next-to-him-jack-handey
when-youre-going-up-stairs-you-take-step-kick-other-leg-up-high-behind-you-to-keep-people-from-following-too-close-jack-handey
if-you-ever-reach-total-enlightenment-while-drinking-beer-i-bet-it-makes-beer-shoot-out-your-nose-jack-handey