"¨Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.
¨loneliness quoteshuman quotescondition quotescultivate quotestunnels quotessoul quotesroom quotesgrow quotesexpect quotesoutgrow quotesloneliness quoteshope quotesfind quotespeople quotesunderstand quotesfill quotesspace quotesintelligent quotessensitive quotesperson quotesexception quotesgreat quotesexception quotesgrow quotesmurderous quotesdisappointment quotescattle quotesstand quotes
The question of good and the nature of evil will always be one of philosophy's most intriguing problems, up there with the problem of existence itself. If evil means to be self-motivated, to be the center of one's own universe, to live on one's own terms, then every artist, thinker, every original mind, is evil. Because we dare to look through our own eyes rather than mouth cliches lent us from the so-called Fathers. To dare to see is to steal fire from the Gods. This is mankind's destiny, the engine which fuels us as a race.
question quotesgood quotesnature quotesevil quotesphilosophys quotesintriguing quotesproblems quotesproblem quotesexistence quotesmeans quotesselfmotivated quotescenter quotesones quotesuniverse quoteslive quotesterms quotesartist quotesthinker quotesoriginal quotesmind quotesevil quotesdare quoteseyes quotesmouth quotescliches quoteslent quotessocalled quotesfathers quotessteal quotesfire quotesgods quotesmankinds quotesdestiny quotesengine quotesfuels quotesrace quotes
Who am I? I am who I say I am and tomorrow someone else entirely. You are too nostalgic, you want memory to secure you, console you. The past is a bore. What matters is only oneself and what one creates from what one has learned. Imagination uses what it needs and discards the rest- where you want to erect a museum. Don't hoard the past, Astrid. Don't cherish anything. Burn it. The artist is the phoenix who burns to emerge.
tomorrow quotesnostalgic quotesmemory quotessecure quotesconsole quotespast quotesbore quotesmatters quotesoneself quotescreates quoteslearned quotesimagination quotesdiscards quotesrest quoteserect quotesmuseum quoteshoard quotespast quotesastrid quotescherish quotesburn quotesartist quotesphoenix quotesburns quotesemerge quotes
She took a life because someone humiliated her, hurt her image of herself as the Valkyrie, the stainless warrior. Exposed her weakness, which was only love. So she avenged herself. So easy to justify, I wrote to her. It's because you felt like a victim you did it. If you were really strong, you could have tolerated the humiliation.
I imagined the lies the valedictorian was telling them right now. About the exciting future that lies ahead. I wish she'd tell them the truth: Half of you have gone as far in life as you're ever going to. Look around. It's all downhill from here. The rest of us will go a bit further, a steady job, a trip to Hawaii, or a move to Phoenix, Arizona, but out of fifteen hundred how many will do anything truly worthwhile, write a play, paint a painting that will hang in a gallery, find a cure for herpes? Two of us, maybe three? And how many will find true love? About the same. And enlightenment? Maybe one. The rest of us will make compromises, find excuses, someone or something to blame, and hold that over our hearts like a pendant on a chain.
imagined quoteslies quotesvaledictorian quotestelling quotesexciting quotesfuture quotesahead quotesshed quotestruth quoteshalf quoteslife quotesdownhill quotesrest quotesbit quotessteady quotesjob quotestrip quoteshawaii quotesmove quotesphoenix quotesarizona quotesfifteen quoteshundred quotesworthwhile quoteswrite quotesplay quotespaint quotespainting quoteshang quotesgallery quotesfind quotescure quotesherpes quotestrue quoteslove quotesenlightenment quotesmake quotescompromises quotesexcuses quotesblame quoteshold quoteshearts quotespendant quoteschain quotes
They dream of men with gentle hands, eloquent with tenderness, fingers that brushed along a cheek, that outlined open lips in the lovers' braille. Hands that sculpted sweetness from sullen flesh, that traced breast and ignited hips, opening, kneading. Flesh becomes bread in the heat of those hands, braided and rising.
dream quotesmen quotesgentle quoteshands quoteseloquent quotestenderness quotesfingers quotesbrushed quotescheek quotesoutlined quotesopen quoteslips quoteslovers quotesbraille quoteshands quotessculpted quotessweetness quotessullen quotesflesh quotestraced quotesbreast quotesignited quoteships quotesopening quoteskneading quotesflesh quotesbread quotesheat quotesbraided quotesrising quotes
But then I realized, they weren't calling out for their own mothers. Not those weak women, those victims. Drug addicts, shopaholics, cookie bakers. They didn't mean the women who let them down, who failed to help them into womanhood, women who let their boyfriends run a train on them. Bingers, purgers, women smiling into mirrors, women in girdles, women on barstools. Not those women with their complaints and their magazines, controlling women, women who asked, what's in in for me? Not the women watching TV while they made dinner, women who dyed their hair blond behind closed doors trying to look twenty-three. They didn't mean the mothers washing dishes wishing they'd never married, the ones in the ER, saying they fell down the stairs, not the ones in prison saying lonliness is the human condition, get used to it. The wanted the real mother, the blood mother, the great womb, mother of fierce compassion, a woman large enough to hold all the pain, to carry it away. What we needed was someone who bled, someone deep and rich as a field, a wide-hipped mother, awesome, immense, women like huge soft couches, mothers coursing with blood, mothers big enough, wide enough for us to hid in, to sink down to the bottom of, mothers who would breathe for us when we could not breathe anymore, who would fight for us, who would kill for us, die for us.
realized quotescalling quotesmothers quotesweak quoteswomen quotesvictims quotesdrug quotesaddicts quotesshopaholics quotescookie quotesbakers quoteswomen quotesfailed quoteswomanhood quotesboyfriends quotesrun quotestrain quotesbingers quotespurgers quotessmiling quotesmirrors quotesgirdles quotesbarstools quotescomplaints quotesmagazines quotescontrolling quotesasked quoteswatching quotestv quotesmade quotesdinner quotesdyed quoteshair quotesblond quotesclosed quotesdoors quotestwentythree quotesmothers quoteswashing quotesdishes quoteswishing quotesmarried quoteser quotesfell quotesstairs quotesprison quoteslonliness quoteshuman quotescondition quoteswanted quotesreal quotesmother quotesblood quotesgreat quoteswomb quotesmother quotesfierce quotescompassion quoteswoman quoteslarge quoteshold quotespain quotescarry quotesneeded quotesbled quotesdeep quotesrich quotesfield quoteswidehipped quotesawesome quotesimmense quoteshuge quotessoft quotescouches quotescoursing quotesblood quotesbig quoteswide quoteshid quotessink quotesbottom quotesbreathe quotesanymore quotesfight quoteskill quotesdie quotes
Isn't it funny. I'm enjoying my hatred so much more than I ever enjoyed love. Love is tempermental. Tiring. It makes demands. Love uses you. Changes its mind... But hatred, now. That's something you can use. Sculpt. Wield. It's hard or soft, however you need it. Love humiliates you, but hatred cradels you. It's so soothing. I feel infinetly better now
If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have to take jobs like this. She would be half a planet away, floating in a turquoise sea, dancing by moonlight to flamenco guitar. I felt my guilt like a brand... I had seen girls clamor for new clothes and complain about what their mothers made for dinner. I was always mortified. Didn't they know they were tying their mothers to the ground? Weren't chains ashamed of their prisoners?
jobs quoteshalf quotesplanet quotesfloating quotesturquoise quotessea quotesdancing quotesmoonlight quotesflamenco quotesguitar quotesfelt quotesguilt quotesbrand quotesgirls quotesclamor quotesclothes quotescomplain quotesmothers quotesmade quotesdinner quotesmortified quotestying quotesground quoteschains quotesashamed quotesprisoners quotes
Isn't it funny.I'm enjoying my hatred so much more than i ever enjoyed love. Love is temperamental. Tiring. It makes demands. Love uses you, changes its mind. But hatred, now, that's something you can use. Sculpt. Wield. It's hard, or soft, however you need it. Love humiliates you, but Hatred cradles you.
Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment.
The expression in her eyes was bitter as nightshade. 'You ask me about regret? Let me tell you a few things about regret, my darling. There is no end to it. You cannot find the beginning of the chain that brought us from there to here. Should you regret the whole chain, and the air between, or each link separately, as if you could uncouple them? Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or just the ending itself? I've given more thought to this question than you can begin to imagine.
expression quoteseyes quotesbitter quotesnightshade quotesyou quotesregret quotesthings quotesregret quotesdarling quotesend quotesfind quotesbeginning quoteschain quotesbrought quotesregret quoteschain quotesair quoteslink quotesseparately quotesuncouple quotesended quotesbadly quotesending quotesthought quotesquestion quotesbegin quotesimagine quotes
I know what you are learning to endure. There is nothing to be done. Make sure nothing is wasted. Take notes. Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.
I couldn't stop thinking about the body, what a hard fact it was. That philosopher who said we think, therefore we are, should have spent an hour in the maternity ward of Waite Memorial Hospital. He'd have had to change his whole philosophy. The mind was so thin, barely a spiderweb, with all its fine thoughts, aspirations, and beliefs in its own importance. Watch how easily it unravels, evaporates under the first lick of pain.
stop quotesthinking quotesbody quoteshard quotesfact quotesphilosopher quotesspent quoteshour quotesmaternity quotesward quoteswaite quotesmemorial quoteshospital quoteshed quoteschange quotesphilosophy quotesmind quotesthin quotesbarely quotesspiderweb quotesfine quotesthoughts quotesaspirations quotesbeliefs quotesimportance quoteswatch quoteseasily quotesunravels quotesevaporates quoteslick quotespain quotes
I almost said, you're not broken, you're just going through something. But I couldn't. She knew. There was something terribly wrong with her, all the way inside. She was like a big diamond with a dead spot in the middle. I was supposed to breathe life into that dead spot, but it hadn't worked.
I wanted to freeze this moment forever, the chimes, the slight splash of the water, the chink of the dogs' leashes, laughter from the pool, the skritch of my mother's dip-pen, the smell of the trees, the stillness. I wished I could shut it in a locket to wear around my neck. I wished a sleep would find us, at this absolute second, like sleep over the castle of sleeping beauty.
wanted quotesfreeze quotesmoment quotesforever quoteschimes quotesslight quotessplash quoteswater quoteschink quotesdogs quotesleashes quoteslaughter quotespool quotesskritch quotesmothers quotesdippen quotessmell quotestrees quotesstillness quoteswished quotesshut quoteslocket quoteswear quotesneck quotessleep quotesfind quotesabsolute quotescastle quotessleeping quotesbeauty quotes
I gazed up as if I hadn't heard, but what I was thinking was, tell me more about the pretty girls. I was embarrassed for wanting it, it was base, what did pretty matter? I had thought that so many times with my mother. A person didn't need to be beautiful, they just needed to be loved. But I couldn't help wanting it. If that was the way I could be loved, to be beautiful, I'd take it.
tired quotesmen quoteshanging quotesdoorways quotesstanding quotesclose quotessmell quotesbeer quotesfifteenyearold quoteswhiskey quotesmen quotesemergency quotesroom quotesmen quotesleft quoteschristmas quoteseve quotesslammed quotessecurity quotesgates quotesmade quoteslove quoteschanged quotesminds quotes
The decor bowled me over. Everywhere I looked, there was something more to see. Botanical prints, a cross section of pomegranates, a passionflower vine and its fruit. Stacks of thick books on art and design and a collection of glass paperweights filled the coffee table. It was enormously beautiful, a sensibility I'd never encountered anywhere, a relaxed luxury. I could feel my mother's contemptuous gaze falling on the cluttered surfaces, but I was tired of three white flowers in a glass vase. There was more to life than that.
decor quotesbowled quoteslooked quotesbotanical quotesprints quotescross quotessection quotespomegranates quotespassionflower quotesvine quotesfruit quotesstacks quotesthick quotesbooks quotesart quotesdesign quotescollection quotesglass quotespaperweights quotesfilled quotescoffee quotestable quotesenormously quotesbeautiful quotessensibility quotesencountered quotesrelaxed quotesluxury quotesfeel quotesmothers quotescontemptuous quotesgaze quotesfalling quotescluttered quotessurfaces quotestired quoteswhite quotesflowers quotesvase quoteslife quotes
She was sitting cross-legged on her bed in her white kimono, writing in a notebook with an ink pen she dipped in a bottle. 'Never let a man stay the night,' she told me. 'Dawn has a way of casting a pall on any night magic.' The night magic sounded lovely. Someday I would have lovers and write a poem after.
sitting quotescrosslegged quotesbed quoteswhite quoteskimono quoteswriting quotesnotebook quotesink quotespen quotesdipped quotesbottle quotesnever quotesman quotesstay quotesnight quotestold quotesdawn quotescasting quotespall quotesnight quotesmagic quotesmagic quotessounded quoteslovely quotessomeday quoteslovers quoteswrite quotespoem quotes
They wanted the real mother, the blood mother, the great womb, mother of fierce compassion, a woman large enough to hold all the pain, to carry it away. What we needed was someone who bled...mother's big enough, wide enough for us to hide in...mother's who would breathe for us when we could not breathe anymore, who would fight for us, who would kill for us, die for us.
wanted quotesreal quotesmother quotesblood quotesgreat quoteswomb quotesmother quotesfierce quotescompassion quoteswoman quoteslarge quoteshold quotespain quotescarry quotesneeded quotesbledmothers quotesbig quoteswide quoteshide quotesinmothers quotesbreathe quotesanymore quotesfight quoteskill quotesdie quotes