dont-go-looking-for-pancakes-when-you-have-flapjacks-at-home
i-want-to-meet-a-guy-named-art-id-take-him-to-a-museum-hang-him-on-the-wall-criticize-him-and-leave
when-i-saw-you-i-saw-love-when-i-saw-you-naked-i-saw-lust-when-i-saw-you-with-my-clone-in-a-dream-i-saw-the-future
i-may-not-be-a-horse-whisperer-but-i-certainly-can-and-do-shout-at-unicorns
if-you-work-in-a-hospital-you-cant-easily-fake-call-in-sick-to-work-oh-youre-sick-well-why-dont-you-come-in-to-work-and-well-have-a-look-at-it
if-i-can-delay-your-action-with-my-inaction-then-ill-gladly-do-nothing-for-the-good-of-the-no-good
the-us-is-about-to-go-all-billy-the-kid-inflation-is-going-to-keep-shooting-up
i-cut-an-inch-off-of-every-straw-i-see-just-to-make-the-world-suck-a-little-less
all-men-are-created-equal-some-just-have-more-splenda
if-i-have-to-beat-you-up-to-keep-you-safe-thats-just-what-ill-do-its-this-kind-of-regard-for-others-that-makes-me-believe-id-be-a-good-politician
whether-you-live-to-be-50-or-100-makes-no-difference-if-you-made-no-difference-in-the-world
there-are-an-infinite-number-of-reasons-to-say-no-instead-try-to-focus-on-one-good-reason-to-say-yes
im-at-the-top-of-my-game-and-that-game-is-monopoly-im-standing-on-the-board-right-now
if-i-promise-you-ill-show-up-fifteen-minutes-late-ill-always-arrive-on-time
i-want-my-time-to-be-taken-up-by-chores-errands-appointments-and-arguments-in-other-words-i-want-to-get-married
my-girlfriend-bought-be-a-collared-shirt-for-my-birthday-mainly-so-i-dont-get-too-far-ahead-of-her-when-she-takes-me-for-a-walk
return-something-not-for-the-possibility-of-a-reward-but-for-the-joy-of-giving-a-gift-which-you-did-not-have-to-pay-for
i-cut-my-hair-so-it-looks-like-i-just-woke-up-all-the-time-so-that-i-can-be-like-what-year-is-it-ive-been-asleep-since-the-80s
the-only-problem-with-politicians-taking-two-week-vacations-every-year-is-its-about-50-weeks-too-short
i-want-to-be-happy-and-sad-at-the-same-time-yeah-i-know-it-sounds-sappy
too-much-nudity-is-a-turn-off-especially-if-all-that-flesh-is-on-one-person
if-sex-were-shoes-id-wear-you-out-but-i-wouldnt-wear-you-out-in-public
my-two-favorite-colors-of-the-rainbow-are-gold-and-leprechaun
i-went-to-a-football-game-once-and-got-punched-in-the-face-but-you-couldnt-tell-because-i-was-already-sitting-in-the-nosebleed-section
a-hotel-is-a-temporary-aquarium-for-people-thats-why-i-travel-with-a-fishing-pole-and-erectile-dysfunction-medicine
economist-should-be-spelled-echonomist-because-they-all-repeat-each-other
never-let-go-of-a-good-thing-without-a-fight-especially-if-that-good-thing-is-a-pair-of-boxing-gloves
no-matter-how-much-water-a-sink-takes-on-it-never-lives-up-to-its-name-the-titanic-would-never-have-sunk-if-it-were-made-out-of-a-sink
if-i-tell-you-i-want-to-be-a-doortodoor-salesman-dont-knock-it
if-i-told-you-ive-worked-hard-to-get-where-im-at-id-be-lying-because-i-have-no-idea-where-i-am-right-now
the-other-day-i-went-to-the-huddle-house-i-wasnt-hungry-i-just-wanted-to-call-some-plays
the-only-reason-my-wife-agreed-to-marry-me-is-because-christian-bale-wasnt-around-to-propose-to-her
the-dollar-isnt-worth-its-weight-in-gold-and-the-pound-isnt-worth-its-weight-in-ounces
im-trying-to-overcome-my-ocd-by-replacing-my-neurosis-with-three-other-letters
i-want-to-read-employment-section-bible-i-think-its-simply-called-job-jarod-kintz
im-such-alcoholic-that-i-go-to-church-just-for-communion-jarod-kintz
i-found-your-love-like-i-found-religion-in-aluminum-trashcan-in-middle-utah-desert-jarod-kintz
if-religion-is-crutch-then-society-is-broken-foot-jarod-kintz
the-fastest-way-to-lose-weight-is-to-find-religion-start-fasting-jarod-kintz
the-quickest-way-to-alter-altar-is-not-with-hammer-even-religious-deconstruction-but-with-typo-jarod-kintz
catholic-episcopalian-i-wont-have-sects-with-you-jarod-kintz
the-only-class-i-studied-religiously-was-christianity-101-jarod-kintz
when-i-think-middle-ages-i-think-castles-catholicism-taking-your-kids-to-soccer-practice-jarod-kintz
some-people-think-nature-is-their-god-id-like-to-apologize-to-all-those-people-for-pissing-on-their-religion-jarod-kintz
i-had-religious-experience-at-crosswalk-jarod-kintz
is-there-word-halfway-between-hello-goodbye-because-thats-word-my-soul-is-trying-to-say-jarod-kintz
when-your-soul-gets-dry-you-could-either-water-it-with-alcohol-love-you-could-use-water-but-rememberthere-can-only-be-one-michael-phelps-jarod-kintz
i-love-you-like-my-soul-is-not-moon-its-brighter-bigger-jarod-kintz
coffee-has-way-waking-my-soul-much-like-drinking-liquid-heaven-would-jarod-kintz
the-devil-appears-in-many-forms-but-most-nefarious-all-are-tax-forms-jarod-kintz
do-you-ever-wonder-if-youre-antichrist-i-do-not-for-myself-course-but-i-think-youre-devil-jarod-kintz
i-think-we-should-keep-politics-out-church-back-in-hell-where-it-belongs-jarod-kintz
im-willing-to-die-for-my-beliefs-but-over-course-lifetime-not-all-at-once-right-now-jarod-kintz
after-im-dead-i-want-to-ghostwrite-my-autobiography-jarod-kintz
my-love-disappeared-along-with-evidence-her-dead-body-jarod-kintz
. She looked like a beaver, smelled like a skunk, and may or may not have been dead for days when we were first introduced.)
youll-know-economy-is-dead-when-industry-stops-escalators-turn-into-stairs-thatll-be-day-slinkies-take-over-world-jarod-kintz
who-would-you-rather-make-love-tome-dead-carcass-deer-dont-deliver-hasty-answer-think-it-over-jarod-kintz
as-atheist-hates-christmas-i-hate-fourth-july-jarod-kintz
i-had-dream-about-you-we-made-love-like-christmas-on-december-26-we-made-it-but-we-missed-it-jarod-kintz
for-christmas-i-got-new-socks-i-peeled-them-off-dead-body-jarod-kintz
when-i-get-to-heaven-i-see-being-light-im-going-to-ask-him-if-hes-urologist-jarod-kintz
is-love-gift-from-heaven-if-it-is-its-often-wrapped-in-disinterest-rejection-jarod-kintz
i-wrote-zen-koan-once-about-love-but-it-didnt-make-any-sense-thats-how-i-knew-i-had-accurately-described-love-jarod-kintz
A sand trap is like a politician in its duality. It represents two opposing viewpoints. You see, it was designed to trap your ball. So it exists to have balls land in it. But it was also designed to be avoided. So it also exists to not have balls land in it. This is the beauty of golf. The game of golf is a Zen koan in action.
Jarod Kintz
a-sand-trap-is-like-politician-in-its-duality-it-represents-two-opposing-viewpoints-you-see-it-was-designed-to-trap-your-ball-so-it-exists-to-have-balls-land-in-it-but-it-was-als
my-humble-spirit-takes-shape-as-mashed-potatoes-on-side-i-already-ate-instructions-jarod-kintz
i-havent-personally-met-god-yet-but-when-i-do-ill-ask-him-if-he-still-believes-in-you-im-sure-he-does-jarod-kintz
i-believe-i-am-witness-to-invisible-man-because-i-saw-nothing-im-just-as-reliable-unreliableas-helen-keller-jarod-kintz
i-am-qorj-love-if-you-find-that-hard-to-believe-then-id-like-to-sell-you-bible-jarod-kintz
love-is-shapeless-colorless-tasteless-odorless-but-is-god-how-can-you-believe-in-one-not-other-jarod-kintz
life-dont-count-minutes-count-your-blessings-jarod-kintz
.)
man-is-somewhere-in-between-god-animal-jarod-is-somewhere-in-between-jar-jason-one-which-i-keep-chained-up-in-my-freezer-jarod-kintz
he-said-he-thinks-hes-god-i-said-in-that-case-im-atheist-jarod-kintz
men-are-fleas-in-gray-beard-god-im-just-itching-to-meet-him-jarod-kintz
what-i-call-talking-to-god-you-may-call-talking-to-myself-of-course-im-flattered-that-youd-think-i-am-god-jarod-kintz
