Jeff Dunham Quotes

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Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
I'm happy to see them doing well. I'm encouraged, and you don't really pull together as a team until your pitchers are warmed up. -Jeff Dunham
im-happy-to-see-them-doing-well-im-encouraged-you-dont-really-pull-together-as-team-until-your-pitchers-are-warmed-up-jeff-dunham
The roadwork is just rehearsal for that DVD you're going to film a year later. -Jeff Dunham
the-roadwork-is-just-rehearsal-for-that-dvd-youre-going-to-film-year-later-jeff-dunham
Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it. -Jeff Dunham
standup-comedy-is-tough-right-now-anybody-can-come-to-concert-tape-you-put-you-up-on-internet-you-either-fight-it-embrace-it-jeff-dunham
I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.' -Jeff Dunham
ive-got-answer-to-where-osama-bin-laden-is-i-know-hes-dead-living-in-my-suitcase-with-my-dummies-jeff-dunham
When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show. -Jeff Dunham
when-bad-experience-happens-you-just-chalk-it-up-to-great-fact-that-you-just-got-five-more-jokes-in-show-jeff-dunham
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? -Jeff Dunham
if-you-choke-smurf-what-color-does-it-turn-jeff-dunham
I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect. -Jeff Dunham
i-always-try-do-everything-i-can-to-best-my-abilities-single-aspect-has-to-be-perfect-jeff-dunham
I think all the garbage in the world is thanks to a very small handful of idiots. -Jeff Dunham
i-think-all-garbage-in-world-is-thanks-to-small-handful-idiots
As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark. -Jeff Dunham
as-humans-we-like-to-laugh-at-our-fears-we-like-to-whistle-in-dark
I'm a Macintosh nut. I got my PowerBook, so if I'm not writing jokes, I'm working on that. -Jeff Dunham
im-macintosh-nut-i-got-my-powerbook-if-im-not-writing-jokes-im-working-on-that
There's some sort of unspoken license... when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor. -Jeff Dunham
theres-some-sort-unspoken-license-when-outlandish-things-come-out-inanimate-object-somehow-it-equals-humor
Math? Forget about it. If I add four plus eight plus six, I have to count on my fingers. I guess I'm hooked up differently. -Jeff Dunham
math-forget-about-it-if-i-add-four-plus-eight-plus-six-i-have-to-count-on-my-fingers-i-guess-im-hooked-up-differently
I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny. -Jeff Dunham
ive-always-said-that-instead-watching-guy-juggle-seven-things-amazingly-i-would-rather-see-really-bad-juggler-whos-really-funny
I'm not trying to teach anybody anything, I'm not trying to say anything, I have no political motive whatsoever. My motive is just the big laugh. -Jeff Dunham
im-not-trying-to-teach-anybody-anything-im-not-trying-to-say-anything-i-have-no-political-motive-whatsoever-my-motive-is-just-big-laugh
A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things. -Jeff Dunham
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I'm a geek to the bone. -Jeff Dunham
im-geek-to-bone
I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist. -Jeff Dunham
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