Jeff Dunham Quotes

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Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
I'm happy to see them doing well. I'm encouraged, and you don't really pull together as a team until your pitchers are warmed up. -Jeff Dunham
The roadwork is just rehearsal for that DVD you're going to film a year later. -Jeff Dunham
Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it. -Jeff Dunham
I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.' -Jeff Dunham
When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show. -Jeff Dunham
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? -Jeff Dunham
I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect. -Jeff Dunham
I think all the garbage in the world is thanks to a very small handful of idiots. -Jeff Dunham
As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark. -Jeff Dunham
I'm a Macintosh nut. I got my PowerBook, so if I'm not writing jokes, I'm working on that. -Jeff Dunham
There's some sort of unspoken license... when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor. -Jeff Dunham
Math? Forget about it. If I add four plus eight plus six, I have to count on my fingers. I guess I'm hooked up differently. -Jeff Dunham
I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny. -Jeff Dunham
I'm not trying to teach anybody anything, I'm not trying to say anything, I have no political motive whatsoever. My motive is just the big laugh. -Jeff Dunham
A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things. -Jeff Dunham
I'm a geek to the bone. -Jeff Dunham
I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist. -Jeff Dunham
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