Johnny Carson Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
happiness-is-your-dentist-telling-you-it-wont-hurt-and-then-having-him-catch-his-hand-in-the-drill
i-was-so-naive-as-a-kid-i-used-to-sneak-behind-the-barn-and-do-nothing
mail-your-packages-early-so-the-post-office-can-lose-them-in-time-for-christmas
if-it-werent-for-philo-t-farnsworth-inventor-of-television-wed-still-be-eating-frozen-radio-dinners
my-success-just-evolved-from-working-hard-at-the-business-at-hand-each-day
for-three-days-after-death-hair-and-fingernails-continue-to-grow-but-phone-calls-taper-off
for-days-after-death-hair-and-fingernails-continue-to-grow-but-phone-calls-taper-off
if-variety-is-the-spice-of-life-marriage-is-the-big-can-of-leftover-spam
i-know-a-man-who-gave-up-smoking-drinking-sex-and-rich-food-he-was-healthy-right-up-to-the-day-he-killed-himself
the-only-thing-money-gives-you-is-the-freedom-of-not-worrying-about-money
in-hollywood-if-you-dont-have-a-shrink-people-think-youre-crazy
your-chances-of-getting-struck-by-lightning-go-up-if-you-stand-under-a-tree-shake-your-fist-at-the-sky-and-say-storms-suck
happiness-is-sitting-down-to-watch-slides-of-your-neighbors-vacation-and-finding-out-he-spent-two-weeks-at-a-nudist-colony
the-difference-between-a-divorce-and-a-legal-separation-is-that-a-legal-separation-gives-a-husband-time-to-hide-his-money
i-know-youve-been-married-to-the-same-woman-for-69-years-that-is-marvelous-it-must-be-very-inexpensive
if-variety-if-the-spice-of-life-marriage-is-the-big-can-of-leftover-spam
democracy-means-that-anyone-can-grow-up-to-be-president-and-anyone-who-doesnt-grow-up-can-be-vice-president
money-gives-me-just-one-big-thing-thats-really-important-thats-freedom-not-having-to-worry-about-money-johnny-carson
its-lack-this-kind-open-honest-education-about-sex-that-causes-many-kids-to-grow-up-with-sexual-hangups-johnny-carson
according-to-statistics-its-lot-easier-to-get-hit-by-lightning-than-to-win-lotto-jackpot-the-good-side-you-dont-hear-from-your-relatives-johnny-carson
may-you-have-income-republican-sex-life-democrat-johnny-carson
the-good-news-is-that-president-gets-another-chance-the-bad-news-is-that-hell-be-two-weeks-older-johnny-carson
i-can-empathize-with-president-george-bush-i-know-what-it-feels-like-having-young-guy-waiting-around-for-you-to-keel-over-johnny-carson
did-you-know-richard-nixon-is-only-president-whose-formal-portrait-was-painted-by-police-sketch-artist-johnny-carson
just-be-yourself-its-only-way-it-can-work-johnny-carson
never-use-big-word-when-little-filthy-one-will-do-johnny-carson
love-american-style-johnny-carson
if-life-were-fair-elvis-would-be-alive-all-impersonators-would-be-dead-johnny-carson
the-worst-gift-is-fruitcake-there-is-only-one-fruitcake-in-entire-world-people-keep-sending-it-to-each-other-johnny-carson
if-life-was-fair-elvis-would-be-alive-all-impersonators-would-be-dead-johnny-carson
as-you-all-know-by-now-this-is-51st-annual-academy-awards-two-hours-sparkling-entertainment-spread-out-over-fourhour-show-johnny-carson
the-champagne-they-have-stored-is-getting-more-valuable-every-year-johnny-carson
maybe-we-should-hold-next-olympic-games-in-afghanistan-hope-soviets-pull-out-that-one-too-johnny-carson
audiences-have-proved-time-again-that-they-dont-want-steady-diet-any-entertainer-airing-his-social-views-especially-if-hes-comedian-johnny-carson
i-work-because-i-enjoy-what-im-doing-fact-that-i-make-money-at-it-big-money-is-finedandy-side-fact-johnny-carson
democracy-is-buying-big-house-you-cant-afford-with-money-you-dont-have-to-impress-people-you-wish-were-dead-johnny-carson
i-owe-one-thing-to-my-public-best-performance-i-can-give-johnny-carson
i-heard-from-my-cats-lawyer-today-my-cat-wants-12000-week-for-tender-vittles-johnny-carson
happiness-is-discovering-prune-juice-your-doctor-ordered-you-to-drink-has-fermented-johnny-carson
find-me-any-performer-anywhere-who-isnt-egocentric-youd-better-believe-youre-good-youve-got-no-business-being-out-there-johnny-carson
happiness-isfinding-two-olives-in-your-martini-when-youre-hungry-johnny-carson
i-demand-my-right-to-private-life-just-as-i-respect-that-right-for-everybody-else-johnny-carson
happiness-is-having-rare-steak-bottle-whiskey-dog-to-eat-rare-steak-johnny-carson
it-was-hot-today-that-burger-king-was-singing-if-you-want-it-your-way-cook-it-yourself-johnny-carson
george-burns-has-been-on-my-show-twenty-thirty-times-maybe-more-how-can-you-turn-down-guy-that-age-johnny-carson
democracy-is-welcoming-people-from-other-lands-giving-them-something-to-hold-onto-usually-mop-leaf-blower-johnny-carson
having-money-gives-me-freedom-to-worry-about-things-that-really-matter-johnny-carson
that-would-have-been-great-ticket-reagan-ford-actor-stuntman-johnny-carson
pittsburgh-is-kind-like-newark-without-cultural-advantages-johnny-carson
ronald-reagan-just-signed-new-tax-law-but-i-think-he-was-in-hollywood-too-long-he-signed-it-best-wishes-ronald-reagan-johnny-carson
i-hated-my-last-boss-he-asked-why-are-you-two-hours-late-i-said-i-fell-downstairs-he-said-that-doesnt-take-two-hours-johnny-carson
the-best-way-to-thaw-frozen-turkey-blow-in-its-ear-johnny-carson
some-sad-news-from-australia-inventor-boomerang-grenade-died-today-johnny-carson
nancy-reagan-fell-down-broke-her-hair-johnny-carson
how-much-national-news-that-you-report-to-public-each-night-consists-information-youve-actually-gone-out-dug-up-on-your-own-johnny-carson
there-are-few-japanese-jews-as-result-there-is-no-japanese-word-for-alan-king-johnny-carson
the-difference-between-divorce-legal-separation-is-that-legal-separation-gives-husband-time-to-hide-his-money-johnny-carson
happiness-is-being-stuck-in-elevator-discovering-ravishing-blonde-with-you-is-liquor-salesman-with-case-samples-johnny-carson
happiness-is-seeing-your-son-drafted-same-day-hes-been-accepted-to-expensive-college-johnny-carson
married-men-live-longer-than-single-men-but-married-men-are-lot-more-willing-to-die-johnny-carson
i-feel-one-sensible-thing-you-can-do-is-try-to-live-in-way-that-pleases-you-if-you-dont-hurt-anybody-else-what-you-do-is-your-own-business-johnny-carson
anytime-four-new-yorkers-get-into-cab-together-without-arguing-bank-robbery-has-just-taken-place
when-turkeys-mate-they-think-swans
people-will-pay-more-to-be-entertained-than-educated
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