Some people may not be pleased with how you live your life, and some will never understand why you live they way you do even if you try to explain it to them and that's okay. You were never born to live up to their perspective, you were born to live up to yours. So live and be your own godess you beautiful you.
Pain changes people, it causes us to create our own self-sustaining world, we become so focused on protecting ourselves, withdrawing from close and loving interactions, we suspend ourselves the most fulfilling parts of life in exchange for security and familiarity. Giving up on love is easier than the struggles of trying again.
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I think that we've become too afraid of rejection, to say too much, to feel to deeply, to let people know how much they mean to us. We avoid getting too attached to protect ourselves from getting hurt, we anticipate the pain before it even begins that we forget how beautiful of an experience it is to feel wanted. There is something so breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of vulnerability, opening yourself up and being honest about how you feel. Tell him you like him, or send him flowers if you can't get those words out, do whatever it is you have to do and go for it with all your heart. you'll live I promise, prettier and braver.
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Tell me your story, the things you're passionate about, how your eyes light up when you talk about them. Tell me what makes you happy and what makes you sad, tell me everything you want to tell me and I'd listen, I will listen with all my heart because that's all I really want, be a home to you.