I should just stop trying to control what's coming out of my mouth. I'm always going to keep what's important to me in mind and I completely understand considering that we're playing characters that are so coveted by so many people so I get why they want to know more about us. I just sort of have to not think about it.
When I'm about to blow the candles on my birthday cake and everybody is telling me I must make a wish, I just go into a tailspin. I'm thinking: what do I wish?, and I just can't seem to think about anything. Then I close my eyes, take a deep breath and there comes my wish. I don't know how to explain what goes on inside of me, but that's what happens: breathing is the key to understand what's really important to me.
Usually, at the end of a film it's like I've finally gotten to know this person completely, and then we're done. That actually happened on the set of 'Twilight,' and then it happened again on 'New Moon.' Each time my character Bella became a different person, and I got to know that person and take her to the next level.
If I took perfect pictures all the time, the people standing in the room with me, or on the carpet, would think, 'What an actress! What a faker!' That thought embarrasses me so much that I look like s**t in half my photos, and I don't give a f***. What matters to me is that the people in the room leave and say, 'She was cool. She had a good time. She was honest.'
It's really important to like what you're wearing. It's pretty clear when I don't like what I'm wearing, and it's pretty clear if you got dressed for other people. Even if you're not looking the the best you can, or maybe your outfit isn't spot on, if it looks like you got dressed and you like it, you'll probably look cool anyway.
I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies.
I try not to be a prisoner to those kinds of thoughts or ideas of what I think my life should be or shouldn't be. That's why I've never had a five-year plan. I always knew that I wanted to have children. It wasn't kind of something that I discovered later. I also never felt the biological clock ticking because I think I always knew that I wanted to adopt.
I'm now in my mid-thirties, so I look in the mirror and my face is changing, and I have a different relationship all of a sudden with myself. Your face changes, things change - that's just kind of what happens. It's hard, though, in this industry, because I think so much importance is put on how you look, and I'm not brave enough to be like, "You know what? I'm just going to let it happen. Whatever. I'm so cool with every line on my face."
It's hard to actually take details from your personal life and apply them a scene because, as much as you can identify with a feeling, you just get muddled. As soon as you start bringing your own stuff in, it's like, 'No, that's not right.' You're playing a different person. You can relate, but you have to leave that stuff at the door.
I think people are used to seeing actors be wide open and desperately giving of themselves, and while I do that on a movie set as much as I can, it's so unnatural for me to do it on television, in interviews, in anything like that. I also don't find that my process as an actor is really anyone else's business.
One thing that I don't think I do is play characters. Once you start claiming that you can do something that you're not, you're crazy. I think scripts can really surprise you. You go, "Wow, I did not know that that response could come from me. I did not know that I had that in me." And so, the process of making the movie is just finding that and digging a little deeper.
I think our need to be loved is so great that it's the thing that damages us the most. I think that's something we can find in any person, though some people are more in tune with it or accepting of it or have moved past it and dealt with it or have a healthier thought process about it than others.
Adoption was something that was always under my skin, that I knew would be a part of my life, and, when I decided to start filing, it was very clear. It was like I knew that this was exactly what it needed to be. So then you go through the process, and it's tough. It's not the easiest process - and then again, I've never liked things too easy in life. But it emotionally knocks you out.
You should have the opportunity to be more than one person with different people because you have that within you. It's not like you're faking it. If everyone knows you so well and can always get a hold of you, then you're stuck to this thing that people think you are. You should have the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Because you do. Naturally.
Everybody says the first cut if the deepest. It's so true. I don't know if it's because it's the best love, but it's the first that you remember. There is one boy that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I wouldn't go as far as to say, 'Oh I was in love with him and he broke my heart'. You hold on to that, just that first experience, it's good to have and you should appreciate it, even if it hurts.
I have realized that you can close yourself off to life if you put walls up, but it's a difficult thing ... You can't see over, people can't see in, and you also can't see out. So I've gotten quite comfortable with just being unafraid. I keep saying the same thing: it's not about being fearless but really just embracing the fears and using them.
Some people get the wrong idea, you know. If you're quiet and you're just not the most gregarious person, that you're like.. I don't know, self-involved, rude possibly, frigid. I get that a lot from people who don't know me, like online all you guys think I never smile, ever. It's not true. I do smile sometimes.
It's funny: By putting up walls, you think you're protecting yourself, but you get to live less. You're depriving yourself of so much if you're trying to be too aware of what you're putting out there. If you feel someone breaking those walls down, let them. Those are the people that you need to find in life, rather than people that you're just comfortable with.