what promise she can do this time?it seems always she dose , never fulfilled.a wish , a promise to herself-a simple method of perfect dying process and never looking back afterwards. in his side, when he could rest her close to his heart, a madness to see her as a beautiful creation , slowly get in to that peaceful unexplained touch of him-her body perhaps made for that, crashing in his arms , his passion, love, strong hug , essence of him-a wish of all over another time , in this life only.dying in his kiss , in his madness, in his fear to lose her- all that in his love-she made a wish. life has no answer, as well as destiny.but her heart asking for calm deep sleep for another birth, and there she does not want to meet him again.in this moment-one moment in love , she can go for sleep forever.
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that is why I always step myself back of them.if I did- I could lose them.still one mistake again I am thinking to stop.i know I am better than them- I was always advanced, but I let them put before my desire.now my progress , unwanted desire to them. as I stop to give them priority before me.
REMEMBER HER- sudden wind come through your open window a silent wave fall inside of room you run to catch your curtain and she is not in that room- remember her a little you are pushing the door bell and someone else open the main door a seasonal song with summer or with the winter or with the rain she used to sing - remember her for a moment, looking at your empty garden where she used to walk un-necessary remember her brown skin in love her smile towards you that morning or evening through your memories give her tribute when her body will burn in that pure fire of death- a little to ask - much to give- will you or will you not? she will remember her loss and rewards in happiness with you.
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so many things are there to say.time is short and I have to get many as well as want to give too many. when you told me 'it is your mistake''-I cried, shout at me.thinking why I can not stop to look at you.why I run to you?there was no answer , just a deep pain scroll down my throat and fight for me with in tears. that special day and today - long time has passed between both of us.there is no change to feel the feelings from my bottom my heart.you may be scared a little- why I am after you?may be you thought in other way- but very first moment I was at one same corner-that I loved you for years and years. I was scared -how you will react?i wanted to tell you this word -in your arms.in your care of love, at most close moment -when we could feel the breathe of each other.i wanted to hide for years in you - what I lost many years back I wanted to feel in my hand, face, eyes, and by you. I could express , why ?because I know I will never be close to you after that day.you were too close, too close to me, if I moved -I could touch you.i feel now -why I did not try for that?perhaps long wait for you , from unknown bond- I am so much far away of you. I want to go to you just like a baby girl who run to her childhood friend without any restriction. I am missing you.you changed every way.i looked at your picture- and feel why I cant be with you?why this restriction? why I am bound?i want to run away from everything, whatever will help me to forget you... but that is impossible. sometimes I want to throw you out of my side- but it is you, you pull me again and again towards you.like I can feel your love, i can feel you touch on my face..all over me.. I cant be angry for long..death is only wall which can parted me from you. first day and now I am with you, your love is looking after me, you are not allowing me to move at wrongfully -though I miss you each second.do not read this darling-when I will not be here someday if you want then read it, I love you, always do,
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you think -'what a stupid woman she is '!really , she is. or she knows that you are thinking in this way.yes , she do. why I am saying?you are using her most precious and personal emotion what she has for you.each one of these -her smile, her happiness by loving you , everything, everything you are technically using to use her for your own benefit.you may think - she does not understand your trick but I assure you- she does.yesterday you destroy her writing time, her writing page - not because you do not want to share good words about you with anyone...it was again technically for your benefit to use on other way.i assure you one more thing- love is not someone's property to lock and key.i know her. she will, love you more than today , more than yesterday.because to give you , to share with you she has nothing special to hide. no she is not hurt. she knows -you will use her work , may be not so big, but never will say- yes it is good, I like this.or yes I love you'' I asked her to step back. she told me- loving him is not my choice.god gifted me , god choose me.let him decide for me.' I hope she is this time at peace. you hurt , insult her feelings -because you never care for her or love her.otherwise you would face her boldly.
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