Milton Berle Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
a-committee-is-a-group-that-keeps-minutes-and-loses-hours
you-can-lead-a-man-to-congress-but-you-cant-make-him-think
if-opportunity-doesnt-knock-build-a-door
experience-is-what-you-have-after-youve-forgotten-her-name
marriage-is-one-of-the-few-institutions-that-allow-a-man-to-do-as-his-wife-pleases
why-are-we-honoring-this-man-have-we-run-out-of-human-beings
the-best-ears-of-our-lives
a-man-falls-down-a-flight-of-stairs-and-somebody-rushes-over-to-him-and-asks-did-you-miss-a-step-no-he-answers-i-hit-every-one-of-them
i-know-why-superman-left-krypton-earth-was-the-only-place-he-could-get-steroids
folk-who-dont-know-why-america-is-the-land-of-promise-should-be-here-during-an-election-campaign
my-wife-sent-me-valentine-card-that-said-take-my-heart-take-my-lips-take-my-soul-thats-just-like-her-she-kept-good-parts-for-herself-milton-berle
radio-that-wonderful-invention-by-which-i-can-reach-millions-people-who-fortunately-cant-reach-me-milton-berle
the-problem-with-life-is-by-time-you-can-read-women-like-book-your-library-card-has-expired-milton-berle
if-evolution-really-works-how-come-mothers-only-have-two-hands-milton-berle
poverty-is-not-disgrace-but-its-terribly-inconvenient-milton-berle
anytime-person-goes-into-delicatessen-orders-pastrami-on-white-bread-somewhere-jew-dies-milton-berle
my-doctor-told-me-that-jogging-could-add-years-to-my-life-i-think-he-was-right-i-feel-ten-years-older-already-milton-berle
santa-is-having-tough-time-this-year-last-year-he-deducted-eight-billion-for-gifts-irs-wants-itemized-list-milton-berle
at-eightytwo-i-feel-like-twentyyearold-but-unfortunately-theres-never-one-around-milton-berle
i-bought-my-son-bat-for-christmas-on-new-years-it-flew-away-milton-berle
in-suburbs-its-hard-to-buy-your-christmas-gifts-early-in-year-you-never-know-who-your-friends-will-be-in-december-milton-berle
i-take-new-years-with-grain-salt-three-aspirins-milton-berle
our-tree-was-puny-we-used-orthopedic-bulbs-milton-berle
the-human-brain-is-special-it-starts-working-as-soon-as-you-get-up-it-doesnt-stop-until-you-get-to-school-milton-berle
the-company-accountant-is-shy-retiring-hes-shy-quarter-million-dollars-thats-why-hes-retiring-milton-berle
do-you-realise-that-eve-was-only-woman-who-ever-took-mans-side-milton-berle
my-son-has-big-christmas-problem-what-do-you-buy-for-father-who-has-everything-youre-using-it-milton-berle
laughter-is-best-medicine-in-world-milton-berle
most-attorneys-practice-law-because-it-gives-them-grand-glorious-feeling-you-give-them-grand-they-feel-glorious-milton-berle
she-wanted-italian-sports-car-with-sport-still-in-it-milton-berle
at-christmas-party-secretary-with-long-red-hair-ate-three-pickles-four-salesmen-panicked-milton-berle
now-that-doctors-have-stopped-making-house-calls-lots-patients-now-have-to-die-without-their-help-milton-berle
talk-about-cheap-on-christmas-eve-my-neighbour-shoots-off-three-blanks-tells-his-kids-santa-claus-just-committed-suicide-milton-berle
do-you-want-to-feel-insecure-count-number-christmas-cards-you-sent-out-then-count-those-you-received-milton-berle
my-son-gave-me-nice-bottle-cologne-eau-de-owe-milton-berle
a-thing-beauty-is-job-forever-milton-berle
i-made-terrible-mistake-last-christmas-my-wife-made-me-swear-that-i-wouldnt-give-her-fancy-gift-and-i-didnt-milton-berle
my-wife-cant-figure-out-what-to-buy-me-what-do-you-give-man-whos-had-everything-up-to-here-milton-berle
who-says-we-didnt-have-controversial-subjects-on-tv-back-in-my-time-remember-bonanza-it-was-about-three-guys-in-high-heels-living-together-milton-berle
for-every-studen-with-spark-brilliance-there-are-about-ten-with-ignition-trouble-milton-berle
your-marriage-is-in-trouble-if-your-wife-says-youre-only-interested-in-one-thing-you-cant-remember-what-it-is-milton-berle
when-i-was-in-school-one-my-teachers-was-crazy-about-me-i-once-heard-her-tell-another-teacher-i-wish-he-was-my-kid-for-one-day-milton-berle
nowadays-when-speaker-tells-graduates-that-future-is-theirsis-that-promise-threat-milton-berle
this-mans-wife-told-him-for-christmas-surprise-me-on-christmas-eve-he-leaned-over-where-she-was-sleeping-said-boo-milton-berle
war-toys-are-scary-they-have-rocket-launcher-with-bayonet-attached-in-case-you-miss-milton-berle
my-sisterinlaw-found-real-surprise-in-her-stockings-my-brother-milton-berle
i-have-brother-who-is-afraid-to-go-to-sleep-he-dreams-hes-working-milton-berle
jews-dont-drink-much-because-it-interferes-with-their-suffering-milton-berle
i-bought-my-motherinlaw-beautiful-chair-for-christmas-but-she-wont-let-me-plug-it-in-milton-berle
its-amazing-how-fast-later-comes-when-you-buy-now-milton-berle
i-just-filled-out-my-income-tax-forms-who-says-you-cant-get-killed-by-blank-milton-berle
we-owe-lot-to-thomas-edison-if-it-wasnt-for-him-wed-be-watching-television-by-candlelight-milton-berle
i-bought-christmas-tree-for-twenty-dollars-when-i-came-home-next-day-my-wife-was-wearing-it-in-her-hair-milton-berle
i-gave-my-wife-twentyfivedollar-gift-certificate-she-used-it-as-down-payment-on-mink-coat-milton-berle
youre-aging-when-your-actions-creak-louder-than-your-words-milton-berle
it-was-tough-school-the-kids-on-debating-team-took-steroids-milton-berle
my-son-really-has-spirit-valentines-day-when-he-was-in-college-he-used-to-send-his-mother-heartshaped-box-laundry-milton-berle
i-feel-like-zsa-zsa-gabors-sixth-husband-i-know-what-im-supposed-to-do-but-i-dont-know-how-to-make-it-interesting-milton-berle
all-my-wife-wanted-for-valentines-day-was-little-card-american-express-milton-berle
money-cant-buy-you-happiness-but-it-helps-you-look-for-it-in-lot-more-places
theyve-finally-comes-up-with-perfect-office-computer-if-it-makes-mistake-it-blames-another-computer
poverty-is-not-disgrace-but-its-terribly-inconvenient
its-amazing-how-fast-later-comes-when-you-buy-now
i-have-file-four-million-jokes-i-have-them-cross-indexed-whatever-subject-you-want-i-have-joke-on-it
people-say-i-owe-lot-to-television-the-fact-is-i-was-star-long-before-television-what-tv-made-me-is-unemployed
i-live-to-laugh-i-laugh-to-live
like-every-comedian-if-i-heard-joke-that-i-thought-would-work-i-used-it
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