Ogden Nash Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
happiness-is-having-a-scratch-for-every-itch
the-most-exciting-happiness-is-the-happiness-generated-by-forces-beyond-your-control
there-is-only-one-way-to-achieve-happiness-on-this-terrestrial-ball-and-that-is-to-have-either-a-clear-conscience-or-none-at-all
middle-age-is-when-youve-met-so-many-people-that-every-new-person-you-meet-reminds-you-of-someone-else
middle-age-is-when-youre-sitting-at-home-on-a-saturday-night-and-the-telephone-rings-and-you-hope-it-isnt-for-you
parents-were-invented-to-make-children-happy-by-giving-them-something-to-ignore
the-trouble-with-a-kitten-is-that-eventually-it-becomes-a-cat
middle-age-ends-and-senescence-begins-the-day-your-descendants-outnumber-your-friends
nobody-agrees-with-anybody-else-anyhow-but-adults-conceal-it-and-infants-show-it
a-husband-is-a-guy-who-tells-you-when-youve-got-on-too-much-lipstick-and-helps-you-with-your-girdle-when-your-hips-stick
when-i-look-at-you-every-aged-phrase-is-new-and-there-are-moments-when-it-seems-ive-married-one-of-shakespeares-dreams
children-arent-happy-without-something-to-ignore-and-thats-what-parents-were-created-for
oh-what-a-tangled-web-do-parents-weave-when-they-think-their-children-are-nave
people-who-have-what-they-want-are-very-fond-of-telling-people-who-havent-what-they-want-that-they-dont-want-it
people-who-work-sitting-down-get-paid-more-than-people-who-work-standing-up
one-mans-remorse-is-another-mans-reminiscence
i-think-remorse-ought-to-stop-biting-the-consciences-that-feed-it
remorse-is-a-violent-dyspepsia-of-the-mind
marriage-is-the-alliance-of-two-people-one-of-whom-never-remembers-birthdays-and-the-other-never-forgets-them
i-would-live-all-my-life-in-nonchalance-and-insouciance-were-it-not-for-making-a-living-which-is-rather-a-nouciance
marriage-is-the-bond-between-a-person-who-never-remembers-anniversaries-and-another-who-never-forgets-them
never-befriend-the-oppressed-unless-you-are-prepared-to-take-on-the-oppressor
some-debts-are-fun-when-you-are-acquiring-them-but-none-are-fun-when-you-set-about-retiring-them
dont-overanalyze-your-marriage-its-like-yanking-up-fragile-indoor-plant-every-20-minutes-to-see-how-its-roots-are-growing-ogden-nash
when-ladys-erotic-life-is-vexed-god-knows-what-god-is-coming-next-ogden-nash
middleaged-life-is-merry-i-love-to-lead-it-ogden-nash
some-primal-termite-knocked-on-wood-and-tasted-it-found-it-good-and-that-is-why-your-cousin-may-fell-through-parlor-floor-today-ogden-nash
the-preacher-politicain-teacherwere-each-them-once-kiddiea-child-indeed-is-wonderful-creaturedo-i-want-one-god-forbiddie-ogden-nash
home-is-heaven-orgies-are-vile-but-i-like-orgy-once-in-while-ogden-nash
dogs-display-reluctance-wrath-if-you-try-to-give-them-bath-they-bury-bones-in-hideaways-and-half-time-they-trot-sideaways-ogden-nash
life-is-not-having-been-told-that-man-has-just-waxed-floor-ogden-nash
stuyvesant-chats-with-kelly-katz-the-professor-warms-to-broker-and-life-is-good-in-brotherhood-of-airconditioned-smoker-ogden-nash
he-who-has-never-tasted-jail-lives-well-within-legal-pale-while-he-whos-served-heavy-sentence-renews-racket-not-repentance-ogden-nash
i-am-tarred-feathered-with-time-ogden-nash
Very Like a Whale One thing that literature would be greatly the better for Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and metaphor. Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons or Celts, Can'ts seem just to say that anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else. What foes it mean when we are told That the Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold? In the first place, George Gordon Byron had had enough experience To know that it probably wasn't just one Assyrian, it was a lot of Assyrians. However, as too many arguments are apt to induce apoplexy and thus hinder longevity, We'll let it pass as one Assyrian for the sake of brevity. Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold, Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolf on the fold? In heaven and earth more than is dreamed of in our philosophy there are a great many things, But i don't imagine that among then there is a wolf with purple and gold cohorts or purple and gold anythings. No, no, Lord Byron, before I'll believe that this Assyrian was actually like a wolf I must have some kind of proof; Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big red mouth and big white teeth and did he say Woof woof? Frankly I think it very unlikely, and all you were entitled to say, at the very most, Was that the Assyrian cohorts came down like a lot of Assyrian cohorts about to destroy the Hebrew host. But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them, With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them. That's the kind of thing that's being done all the time by poets, from Homer to Tennyson; They're always comparing ladies to lilies and veal to venison, And they always say things like that the snow is a white blanket after a winter storm. Oh it is, is it, all right then, you sleep under a six-inch blanket of snow and I'll sleep under a half-inch blanket of unpoetical blanket material and we'll see which one keeps warm, And after that maybe you'll begin to comprehend dimly, What I mean by too much metaphor and simile.

Ogden Nash
very-like-whale-one-thing-that-literature-would-be-greatly-better-for-would-be-more-restricted-employment-by-authors-simile-metaphor-authors-all-races-be-they-greeks-romans-teuto
were-it-not-for-frustration-humiliation-i-suppose-human-race-would-get-ideas-above-its-station-ogden-nash
parsley-is-gharsley-ogden-nash
the-bronx-no-thonx-ogden-nash
where-there-is-monster-there-is-miracle-ogden-nash
i-would-not-engage-wombat-in-any-form-mortal-combat-ogden-nash
in-world-mules-there-are-no-rules-ogden-nash
middle-age-ends-senescence-begins-the-day-your-descendants-outnumber-your-friends-ogden-nash
any-kiddies-in-school-can-love-like-fool-but-hating-my-boy-is-art-ogden-nash
god-in-his-wisdom-made-fly-then-forgot-to-tell-us-why-ogden-nash
you-are-only-young-once-but-you-can-stay-immature-indefinitely-ogden-nash
middle-age-is-when-youre-sitting-at-home-on-saturday-night-telephone-rings-you-hope-it-isnt-for-you-ogden-nash
to-keep-your-marriage-brimming-with-love-in-loving-cup-whenever-youre-wrong-admit-it-whenever-youre-right-shut-up-ogden-nash
to-keep-your-marriage-brimming-with-love-in-wedding-cup-whenever-youre-wrong-admit-it-whenever-youre-right-shut-up-ogden-nash
certainly-there-are-things-in-life-that-money-cant-buy-but-its-funny-did-you-ever-try-buying-them-without-money-ogden-nash
some-pains-are-physical-some-pains-are-mental-but-one-thats-both-is-dental-ogden-nash
there-is-only-one-way-to-achieve-happiness-on-this-terrestrial-ball-and-that-is-to-have-either-clear-conscience-none-at-all-ogden-nash
you-are-much-happier-when-you-are-happy-than-when-you-aint-ogden-nash
life-is-sobs-sniffles-smiles-with-sniffles-predominating-ogden-nash
the-further-through-life-i-drift-more-obvious-it-becomes-that-i-am-lacking-in-thrift-ogden-nash
in-real-life-it-takes-only-one-to-make-quarrel-ogden-nash
and-you-stagger-down-to-break-your-fast-greasy-bacon-lacquered-eggs-and-coffee-composed-frigid-dregs-ogden-nash
a-dressing-is-not-compote-a-dressing-is-not-custard-it-consists-pepper-salt-vinegar-oil-mustard-ogden-nash
the-codfish-is-staple-food-for-which-im-seldom-in-mood-this-fish-is-such-utter-loss-that-people-eat-it-with-egg-sauce-ogden-nash
indoors-out-no-one-relaxes-in-march-that-month-wind-taxes-wind-will-presently-disappear-taxes-last-us-all-year-ogden-nash
every-new-year-is-direct-descendant-isnt-it-long-line-proven-criminals-ogden-nash
at-another-year-i-would-not-boggle-except-that-when-i-jog-i-joggle-ogden-nash
i-think-in-terms-rhyme-have-since-i-was-six-years-old-ogden-nash
smallpox-is-natural-vaccine-aint-ogden-nash
the-cow-is-bovine-ilk-one-end-is-moo-other-milk-ogden-nash
then-blessings-on-thee-my-afternoon-torpor-thou-makest-prince-mental-porpor-ogden-nash
every-englishman-is-convinced-one-thing-viz-that-to-be-englishman-is-to-belong-to-most-exclusive-club-there-is-ogden-nash
the-pig-if-i-am-not-mistaken-supplies-us-sausage-ham-bacon-let-others-say-his-heart-is-big-i-think-it-stupid-pig-ogden-nash
to-tom-carlson-his-dogdepending-on-whose-taste-it-best-suits-ogden-nash
here-lies-my-past-goodbye-i-have-kissed-it-thank-you-kids-i-wouldnt-have-missed-it-ogden-nash
all-that-glitters-is-sold-as-gold-ogden-nash
one-thing-that-literature-would-be-greatly-better-forwould-be-more-restricted-employment-by-authors-simile-metaphor-ogden-nash
how-sunday-into-monday-melts-ogden-nash
heres-good-rule-thumb-too-clever-is-dumb-ogden-nash
the-only-people-who-should-really-sin-are-people-who-can-sin-grin-ogden-nash
i-was-born-jackdaw-why-should-i-try-to-be-owl-ogden-nash
if-called-by-panther-dont-anther-ogden-nash
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