sudden-success-in-golf-is-like-the-sudden-acquisition-of-wealth-it-is-apt-to-unsettle-and-deteriorate-the-character
memories-are-like-mulligatawny-soup-in-a-cheap-restaurant-it-is-best-not-to-stir-them
it-was-my-uncle-george-who-discovered-that-alcohol-was-a-food-well-in-advance-of-modern-medical-thought
it-is-not-mere-technical-skill-that-makes-man-golfer-it-is-golfing-soul-p-g-wodehouse
now-i-am-mixer-i-cant-help-it-its-my-nature-i-like-men-i-like-taste-their-shoes-smell-their-legs-sound-their-voices-it-may-be-weak-me-but-man-p-g-wodehouse
statisticians-estimate-that-crime-among-good-golfers-is-lower-than-in-any-class-community-except-possibly-bishops-p-g-wodehouse
success-comes-to-writer-as-rule-gradually-that-it-is-always-something-shock-to-him-to-look-back-realize-heights-to-which-he-has-climbed-p-g-wodehouse
to-say-that-new-york-came-up-to-its-advance-billing-would-be-baldest-understatements-being-there-was-like-being-in-heaven-without-going-to-all-p-g-wodehouse
however-devoutly-girl-may-worship-man-her-choice-there-always-comes-time-when-she-feels-irresistible-urge-to-haul-off-let-him-have-it-in-neck-p-g-wodehouse
i-may-as-well-tell-you-here-now-that-if-you-are-going-about-place-thinking-things-pretty-you-will-never-make-modern-poet-be-poignant-man-be-p-g-wodehouse
i-suppose-half-time-shakespeare-just-shoved-down-anything-that-came-into-his-head-p-g-wodehouse
I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance, she too often makes a bee line for me with the love light in her eyes. I don't know how to account for it, but it is so." "It may be Nature's provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir.
P. G. Wodehouse
i-mean-to-say-i-know-perfectly-well-that-ive-got-roughly-speaking-half-amount-brain-normal-bloke-ought-to-possess-and-when-girl-comes-along-who-p-g-wodehouse
perfectly quotesroughly quotesspeaking quoteshalf quotesamount quotesbrain quotesnormal quotesbloke quotespossess quotesgirl quotesregular quotesallowance quotesmakes quotesbee quotesline quoteslove quoteslight quoteseyes quotesaccount quotesnatures quotesprovision quotesmaintaining quotesbalance quotesspecies quotessir quotes
half-league-half-league-half-league-onward-with-heynonnynonny-and-hot-chacha-p-g-wodehouse
 the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.)
As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across premieval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P. G. Wodehouse
as-rule-you-see-im-not-lugged-into-family-rows-on-occasions-when-aunt-is-calling-aunt-like-mastodons-bellowing-across-premieval-swamps-uncle-jamess-p-g-wodehouse
rule quoteslugged quotesfamily quotesrows quotesoccasions quotesaunt quotescalling quotesmastodons quotesbellowing quotespremieval quotesswamps quotesuncle quotesjamess quotesletter quotescousin quotesmabels quotespeculiar quotesbehaviour quotesshot quotesround quotesfamily quotescircle quotesplease quotesread quotescarefully quotessend quotesjane quotesclan quotestendency quotesignore quotesadvantages quotesbachelor quotesnearest quotesdearest quotespractically quoteshalfwitted quotes
Great pals we've always been. In fact there was a time when I had an idea I was in love with Cynthia. However, it blew over. A dashed pretty and lively and attractive girl, mind you, but full of ideals and all that. I may be wronging her, but I have an idea that she's the sort of girl who would want a fellow to carve out a career and what not. I know I've heard her speak favourably of Napoleon. So what with one thing and another the jolly old frenzy sort of petered out, and now we're just pals. I think she's a topper, and she thinks me next door to a looney, so everything's nice and matey.
P. G. Wodehouse
great-pals-weve-always-been-in-fact-there-was-time-when-i-had-idea-i-was-in-love-with-cynthia-however-it-blew-over-a-dashed-pretty-lively-p-g-wodehouse
great quotespals quotesfact quotestime quotesidea quoteslove quotescynthia quotesblew quotesdashed quotespretty quoteslively quotesattractive quotesgirl quotesmind quotesfull quotesideals quoteswronging quotesshes quotessort quotesgirl quotesfellow quotescarve quotescareer quotesheard quotesspeak quotesfavourably quotesnapoleon quotesthing quotesjolly quotesfrenzy quotespetered quotespals quotestopper quotesthinks quotesdoor quoteslooney quoteseverythings quotesnice quotesmatey quotes
this-is-peculiarly-age-in-which-each-us-may-if-he-do-but-search-diligently-find-literature-suited-to-his-mental-powers-p-g-wodehouse
I am strongly of the opinion that, after the age of twenty-one, a man ought not to be out of bed and awake at four in the morning. The hour breeds thought. At twenty-one, life being all future, it may be examined with impunity. But, at thirty, having become an uncomfortable mixture of future and past, it is a thing to be looked at only when the sun is high and the world full of warmth and optimism.
P. G. Wodehouse
i-am-strongly-opinion-that-after-age-twentyone-man-ought-not-to-be-out-bed-awake-at-four-in-morning-the-hour-breeds-thought-at-twentyone-life-p-g-wodehouse
strongly quotesopinion quotesage quotestwentyone quotesman quotesbed quotesawake quotesmorning quoteshour quotesbreeds quotesthought quoteslife quotesfuture quotesexamined quotesimpunity quotesthirty quotesuncomfortable quotesmixture quotesfuture quotespast quotesthing quoteslooked quotessun quoteshigh quotesworld quotesfull quoteswarmth quotesoptimism quotes
when-girl-uses-six-derogatory-adjectives-in-her-attempt-to-paint-portrait-loved-one-it-means-something-one-may-indicate-merely-temporary-tiff-six-p-g-wodehouse
It was a silver cow. But when I say 'cow', don't go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow. This was a sinister, leering, Underworld sort of animal, the kind that would spit out of the side of its mouth for twopence.
P. G. Wodehouse
it-was-silver-cow-but-when-i-say-cow-dont-go-running-away-with-idea-some-decent-selfrespecting-cudster-such-as-you-may-observe-loading-grass-into-p-g-wodehouse
silver quotescow quotescow quotesrunning quotesidea quotesdecent quotesselfrespecting quotescudster quotesobserve quotesloading quotesgrass quotesnearest quotesmeadow quotessinister quotesleering quotesunderworld quotessort quotesanimal quoteskind quotesspit quotesside quotesmouth quotestwopence quotes
Many bad golfers marry, feeling that a wife's loving solicitude may improve their game. But they are rugged, thick-skinned men, not sensitive and introspective. It is one of the chief merits of golf that non-success at the game induces a certain amount of decent humilty, which keeps a man from pluming himself too much on any petty triumphs he may achieve in other walks of life.
P. G. Wodehouse
many-bad-golfers-marry-feeling-that-wifes-loving-solicitude-may-improve-their-game-but-they-are-rugged-thickskinned-men-not-sensitive-introspective-p-g-wodehouse
bad quotesgolfers quotesmarry quotesfeeling quoteswifes quotesloving quotessolicitude quotesimprove quotesgame quotesrugged quotesthickskinned quotesmen quotessensitive quotesintrospective quoteschief quotesmerits quotesgolf quotesnonsuccess quotesgame quotesinduces quotesamount quotesdecent quoteshumilty quotesman quotespluming quotespetty quotestriumphs quotesachieve quoteswalks quoteslife quotes
as-we-grow-older-realize-more-clearly-limitations-human-happiness-we-come-to-see-that-only-real-abiding-pleasure-in-life-is-to-give-pleasure-to-p-g-wodehouse
one-drawbacks-to-life-is-that-it-contains-moments-when-one-is-compelled-to-tell-truth-p-g-wodehouse
What earthly good is golf? Life is stern and life is earnest. We live in a practical age. All around us we see foreign competition making itself unpleasant. And we spend our time playing golf? What do we get out of it? Is golf any use? That's what I'm asking you. Can you name me a single case where devotion to this pestilential pastime has done a man any practical good?
P. G. Wodehouse
what-earthly-good-is-golf-life-is-stern-life-is-earnest-we-live-in-practical-age-all-around-us-we-see-foreign-competition-making-itself-unpleasant-p-g-wodehouse
earthly quotesgood quotesgolf quoteslife quotesstern quoteslife quotesearnest quoteslive quotespractical quotesage quotesforeign quotescompetition quotesmaking quotesunpleasant quotesspend quotestime quotesplaying quotesgolf quotessingle quotescase quotesdevotion quotespestilential quotespastime quotesman quotesgood quotes
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
P. G. Wodehouse
freddie-experienced-sort-abysmal-soulsadness-which-afflicts-one-tolstoys-russian-peasants-when-after-putting-in-heavy-days-work-strangling-his-p-g-wodehouse
freddie quotesexperienced quotessort quotesabysmal quotessoulsadness quotesafflicts quotestolstoys quotesrussian quotespeasants quotesputting quotesheavy quotesdays quoteswork quotesstrangling quotesfather quotesbeating quoteswife quotesdropping quotesbaby quotescitys quotesreservoir quotesturns quotescupboards quotesfind quotesvodka quotesbottle quotesempty quotes
her-pupils-were-at-once-her-salvation-her-despair-they-gave-her-means-supporting-life-but-they-made-life-hardly-worth-supporting-p-g-wodehouse
i-spent-afternoon-musing-on-life-if-you-come-to-think-it-what-queer-thing-life-is-so-unlike-anything-else-dont-you-know-if-you-see-what-i-mean-p-g-wodehouse
golf-like-measles-should-be-caught-young-for-if-postponed-to-riper-years-results-may-be-serious-p-g-wodehouse
he-was-either-man-about-hundred-fifty-who-was-rather-young-for-his-years-man-about-hundred-ten-who-had-been-aged-by-trouble-p-g-wodehouse
Joan was nothing more than a friend. He was not in love with her. One does not fall in love with a girl whom one has met only three times. One is attracted, yes; but one does not fall in love. A moment's reflection enabled him to diagnose his sensations correctly. This odd impulse to leap across the compartment and kiss Joan was not love. It was merely the natural desire of a good-hearted young man to be decently chummy with his species.
P. G. Wodehouse
joan-was-nothing-more-than-friend-he-was-not-in-love-with-her-one-does-not-fall-in-love-with-girl-whom-one-has-met-only-three-times-one-is-attracted-p-g-wodehouse
joan quotesfriend quoteslove quotesfall quotesgirl quotesmet quotestimes quotesattracted quoteslove quotesmoments quotesreflection quotesenabled quotesdiagnose quotessensations quotescorrectly quotesodd quotesimpulse quotesleap quotescompartment quoteskiss quotesnatural quotesdesire quotesgoodhearted quotesyoung quotesman quotesdecently quoteschummy quotesspecies quotes
you-ever-have-that-feeling-when-you-step-down-onto-footstep-that-isnt-there-p-g-wodehouse
i-suppose-he-must-have-taken-about-nine-something-in-hats-shows-what-rotten-thing-it-is-to-let-your-brain-develop-too-much-p-g-wodehouse
chumps-always-make-best-husbands-when-you-marry-sally-grab-chump-tap-his-head-first-if-it-rings-solid-dont-hesitate-all-unhappy-marriages-come-p-g-wodehouse
you-know-how-it-is-with-some-girls-they-seem-to-take-stuffing-right-out-you-i-mean-to-say-there-is-something-about-their-personality-that-paralyses-p-g-wodehouse
Men capable of governing empires fail to control a small white ball, which presents no difficulties whetever to others with one ounce more brain than a cuckoo clock. I wish to goodness I knew the man who invented this infernal game. I'd strangle him. But I suppose he's been dead for ages. Still, I could go and jump on his grave.
P. G. Wodehouse
men-capable-governing-empires-fail-to-control-small-white-ball-which-presents-no-difficulties-whetever-to-others-with-one-ounce-more-brain-than-p-g-wodehouse
men quotescapable quotesgoverning quotesempires quotesfail quotescontrol quotessmall quoteswhite quotesball quotespresents quotesdifficulties quoteswhetever quotesounce quotesbrain quotescuckoo quotesclock quotesgoodness quotesknew quotesman quotesinvented quotesinfernal quotesgame quotesstrangle quotessuppose quotesdead quotesages quotesjump quotesgrave quotes
chumps-always-make-best-husbands-all-unhappy-marriages-come-from-husbands-having-brains-p-g-wodehouse
I was writing a story, 'The Artistic Career of Corky,' about two young men, Bertie Wooster and his friend Corky, getting into a lot of trouble, and neither of them had brains enough to get out of the trouble. I thought: Well, how can I get them out? And I thought: Suppose one of them had an omniscient valet?
P. G. Wodehouse
i-was-writing-story-the-artistic-career-corky-about-two-young-men-bertie-wooster-his-friend-corky-getting-into-lot-trouble-neither-them-had-p-g-wodehouse
after-all-golf-is-only-game-said-millicent-women-say-these-things-without-thinking-it-does-not-mean-that-there-is-any-kink-in-their-character-they-p-g-wodehouse
He's like one of those weird birds in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn't quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals slain in anger and pie.
P. G. Wodehouse
hes-like-one-those-weird-birds-in-india-who-dissolve-themselves-into-thin-air-nip-through-space-in-sort-disembodied-way-assemble-parts-again-p-g-wodehouse
weird quotesbirds quotesindia quotesdissolve quotesthin quotesair quotesnip quotesspace quotessort quotesdisembodied quotesassemble quotesparts quotescousin quotescall quotestheosophist quotesworked quotesthing quotesbring quotesowing quotesfed quotesboyhood quotesflesh quotesanimals quotesslain quotesanger quotespie quotes
the-drowsy-stillness-afternoon-was-shattered-by-what-sounded-to-his-strained-senses-like-gk-chesterton-falling-on-sheet-tin-p-g-wodehouse
Golf is the Great Mystery. Like some capricous goddess, it bestows its favours with what would appear an almost fat-headed lack of method and discrimination. On every side we see big two-fisted he-men floundering round in three figures, stopping every few minutes to let through little shrimps with knock-knees and hollow cheeks, who are tearing up snappy seventy-fours.
P. G. Wodehouse
golf-is-great-mystery-like-some-capricous-goddess-it-bestows-its-favours-with-what-would-appear-almost-fatheaded-lack-method-discrimination-on-p-g-wodehouse
golf quotesgreat quotesmystery quotescapricous quotesgoddess quotesbestows quotesfavours quotesfatheaded quoteslack quotesmethod quotesdiscrimination quotesside quotesbig quotestwofisted quoteshemen quotesfloundering quotesround quotesfigures quotesstopping quotesminutes quotesshrimps quotesknockknees quoteshollow quotescheeks quotestearing quotessnappy quotesseventyfours quotes
always-get-to-dialogue-as-soon-as-possible-i-always-feel-thing-to-go-for-is-speed-nothing-puts-reader-off-more-than-big-slab-prose-at-start-p-g-wodehouse
I think the success of every novel - if it's a novel of action - depends on the high spots. The thing to do is to say to yourself, 'Which are my big scenes?' and then get every drop of juice out of them. The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in a play. I say to myself, if a big name were playing this part, and if he found that after a strong first act he had practically nothing to do in the second act, he would walk out. Now, then, can I twist the story so as to give him plenty to do all the way through?
P. G. Wodehouse
i-think-success-every-novel-if-its-novel-action-depends-on-high-spots-the-thing-to-do-is-to-say-to-yourself-which-are-my-big-scenes-then-get-p-g-wodehouse
success quotesaction quotesdepends quoteshigh quotesspots quotesthing quoteswhich quotesbig quotesscenes quotesdrop quotesjuice quotesprinciple quoteswriting quotescharacters quotesterms quotesactors quotesplay quotesplaying quotespart quotesfound quotesstrong quotesact quotespractically quotesact quoteswalk quotestwist quotesstory quotesgive quotesplenty quotes
i-turned-on-pillow-with-little-moan-at-this-juncture-jeeves-entered-with-vital-oolong-i-clutched-at-it-like-drowning-man-at-straw-hat-p-g-wodehouse
he-was-long-stripy-policeman-who-flowed-out-his-uniform-at-odd-spots-as-if-nature-setting-out-to-make-constable-had-had-good-deal-material-left-p-g-wodehouse
she-fitted-into-my-biggest-armchair-as-if-it-had-been-built-round-her-by-someone-who-knew-they-were-wearing-armchairs-tight-about-hips-that-season-p-g-wodehouse
Oh, Jeeves,' I said; 'about that check suit.' Yes, sir?' Is it really a frost?' A trifle too bizarre, sir, in my opinion.' But lots of fellows have asked me who my tailor is.' Doubtless in order to avoid him, sir.' He's supposed to be one of the best men in London.' I am saying nothing against his moral character, sir.
P. G. Wodehouse
oh-jeeves-i-said-about-that-check-suit-yes-sir-is-it-really-frost-a-trifle-too-bizarre-sir-in-my-opinion-but-lots-fellows-have-asked-me-who-my-p-g-wodehouse
jeeves quotesabout quotescheck quotessuit quotessir quotesfrost quotestrifle quotesbizarre quotessir quotesopinion quoteslots quotesfellows quotesasked quotestailor quotesis quotesdoubtless quotesorder quotesavoid quotessir quotessupposed quotesmen quoteslondon quotesmoral quotescharacter quotessir quotes
an-apple-day-if-well-aimed-keeps-doctor-away-p-g-wodehouse
