It's like you're screaming but no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when it's over and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you can have the good.
I wouldn't want to promote teenage girls having sex. But the reality is, it's happening, and they're just a little too young to understand how careful they need to be. That's a big battle with me, because I'm 23, and a lot of my fans are eight years younger than I am, so there's a bit of a tug-of-war there. I want to set the right example and, at the same time, live my life.
In the first two years of my career, there were a lot of restraints on what I could do. I couldn't wear certain colors of lipstick, like bright pink, dark pink or red; [my lips] had to be natural. Eventually, I stopped communicating with certain people at the label, and did exactly what I wanted to do. And that was to cut my hair, dye it black, change my clothes, change my sound. Really to just express myself.
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Once you're back on your feet - if you ever make it back on your feet - that's the ultimate achievement. I remember I was in New York at the Trump Hotel and I woke up and I just knew I was over it. It was a different day. I felt different. I didn't feel lonely. I felt like I wanted to get up and be in the world. That was a great, great feeling.