Steven Wright Quotes

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Categories: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
a-lot-of-people-are-afraid-of-heights-not-me-im-afraid-of-widths
im-writing-a-book-ive-got-the-page-numbers-done
whats-another-word-for-thesaurus
i-intend-to-live-forever-so-far-so-good
i-remember-when-the-candle-shop-burned-down-everyone-stood-around-singing-happy-birthday
everywhere-is-within-walking-distance-if-you-have-the-time
i-busted-a-mirror-and-got-seven-years-bad-luck-but-my-lawyer-thinks-he-can-get-me-five
i-went-to-a-restaurant-that-serves-breakfast-at-any-time-so-i-ordered-french-toast-during-the-renaissance
the-stones-i-love-the-stones-i-watch-them-whenever-i-can-fred-barney
if-toast-always-lands-butterside-down-and-cats-always-land-on-their-feet-what-happens-if-you-strap-toast-on-the-back-of-a-cat-and-drop-it
curiosity-killed-the-cat-but-for-a-while-i-was-a-suspect
i-was-trying-to-daydream-but-my-mind-kept-wandering
id-kill-for-a-nobel-peace-prize
i-just-got-out-of-the-hospital-i-was-in-a-speedreading-accident-i-hit-a-bookmark
i-saw-a-subliminal-advertising-executive-but-only-for-a-second
how-to-make-a-million-dollars-first-get-a-million-dollars
why-dont-they-make-the-whole-plane-out-of-that-black-box-stuff
my-apartment-was-robbed-and-everything-was-replaced-with-exact-replicas-i-told-my-roommate-and-he-said-do-i-know-you
do-lipton-employees-take-coffee-breaks
when-i-was-crossing-the-border-into-canada-they-asked-if-i-had-any-firearms-with-me-i-said-well-what-do-you-need
if-one-synchronized-swimmer-drowns-do-all-the-rest-have-to-drown-too
i-hate-it-when-my-foot-falls-asleep-during-day-because-that-means-its-going-to-be-up-all-night
i-have-all-emotions-that-everyone-has-it-just-appears-that-i-dont-steven-wright
id-like-to-sing-you-song-now-about-my-old-girlfriend-its-called-theyll-find-her-when-leaves-blow-away-cause-im-not-raking-til-spring-steven-wright
if-all-those-psychics-know-winning-lottery-numbers-why-are-they-all-still-working-steven-wright
i-met-this-wonderful-girl-at-macys-she-was-buying-clothes-i-was-putting-slinkies-on-escalator-steven-wright
if-heat-rises-then-heaven-must-be-hotter-than-hell-steven-wright
drugs-may-lead-to-nowhere-but-at-least-its-scenic-route-steven-wright
what-happens-if-you-get-scared-half-to-death-twice-steven-wright
do-radioactive-cats-have-eighteen-halflives-steven-wright
i-tried-to-hang-myself-with-bungee-cord-i-kept-almost-dying-steven-wright
plan-to-be-spontaneous-tomorrow-steven-wright
i-was-in-supermarket-other-day-i-met-lady-in-aisle-where-they-keep-generic-brands-her-name-was-woman-steven-wright
support-bacteria-theyre-only-culture-some-people-have-steven-wright
when-i-was-kid-we-had-sandbox-it-was-quicksand-box-i-was-only-child-eventually-steven-wright
if-warm-air-rises-heaven-could-be-hotter-than-hell-steven-wright
why-dont-they-make-whole-plane-out-that-black-box-stuff-steven-wright
what-nice-night-for-evening-steven-wright
sorry-my-mind-was-wandering-one-time-it-went-all-way-to-venus-ordered-meal-i-couldnt-pay-for-steven-wright
a-friend-mine-once-sent-me-post-card-with-picture-entire-planet-earth-taken-from-space-on-back-it-said-wish-you-were-here-steven-wright
it-was-first-time-i-was-ever-in-love-i-learned-lot-before-that-id-never-even-thought-about-killing-myself-steven-wright
i-put-tape-on-mirrors-in-my-house-i-dont-accidentally-walk-through-into-another-dimension-steven-wright
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