This pen is my only outlet, my only voice, because I have no one else to speak to, no mind but my own to drown in and all the lifeboats are taken and all the life preservers are broken and I don't know how to swim I can't swim I can't swim and it's getting so hard. It's getting so hard. It's like there are a million screams caught inside of my chest but I have to keep them all in because what's the point of screaming if you'll never be heard and no one will ever hear me in here. No one will ever hear me again.
The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It's always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it's a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.
moon quotesloyal quotescompanion quotesleaves quoteswatching quotessteadfast quotesknowing quoteslight quotesdark quotesmoments quoteschanging quotesforever quotesday quotesversion quotesweak quoteswan quotesstrong quotesfull quoteslight quotesunderstands quotesmeans quoteshuman quotesuncertain quotescratered quotesimperfections quotes
For so many years I lived in constant terror of myself. Doubt had married my fear and moved into my mind, where it built castles and ruled kingdoms and reigned over me, bowing my will to its whispers until I was little more than an acquiescing peon, too terrified to disobey, too terrified to disagree. I had been shackled, a prisoner in my own mind. But finally, finally, I have learned to break free.
years quoteslived quotesconstant quotesterror quotesdoubt quotesmarried quotesfear quotesmoved quotesmind quotesbuilt quotescastles quotesruled quoteskingdoms quotesreigned quotesbowing quoteswhispers quotesacquiescing quotespeon quotesterrified quotesdisobey quotesdisagree quotesshackled quotesprisoner quotesmind quotesfinally quoteslearned quotesbreak quotesfree quotes
Maybe I was crazy to consider it, but I'd always hoped that if I were a good enough girl, if I did everything right, if I said the right things or said nothing at all-I thought my parents would change their minds. I thought they would finally listen when I tried to talk. I thought they would give me a chance. I thought they might finally love me. I always had that stupid hope.
I never thought it would get this bad. I never thought the Reestablishment would take things so far. They're incinerating culture, the beauty of diversity. The new citizens of our world will be reduced to nothing but numbers, easily interchangeable, easily removable, easily destroyed for disobedience. We have lost our humanity.
I spent my life folded between the pages of books. In the absence of human relationships I formed bonds with paper characters. I lived love and loss through stories threaded in history; I experienced adolescence by association. My world is one interwoven web of words, stringing limb to limb, bone to sinew, thoughts and images all together. I am a being comprised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed through fiction.
spent quoteslife quotesfolded quotespages quotesbooks quotesabsence quoteshuman quotesrelationships quotesformed quotesbonds quotespaper quotescharacters quoteslived quoteslove quotesloss quotesstories quotesthreaded quoteshistory quotesexperienced quotesadolescence quotesassociation quotesworld quotesinterwoven quotesweb quoteswords quotesstringing quoteslimb quoteslimb quotesbone quotessinew quotesthoughts quotesimages quotescomprised quotesletters quotescharacter quotescreated quotessentences quotesfigment quotesimagination quotesfiction quotes
Selfish needs, wants, and desires needed to be obliterated. Greed, overindulgence, and gluttony had to be expunged from human behavior. The solution was in self-control, in minimalism, in sparse living conditions; one simple and a brand-new dictionary filled with words everyone would understand.
selfish quotesdesires quotesneeded quotesobliterated quotesgreed quotesoverindulgence quotesgluttony quotesexpunged quoteshuman quotesbehavior quotessolution quotesselfcontrol quotesminimalism quotessparse quotesliving quotesconditions quotessimple quotesbrandnew quotesdictionary quotesfilled quoteswords quotesunderstand quotes
The sun is an arrogant thing, always leaving the world behind when it tires of us. The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It's always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Everyday it's a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.
sun quotesarrogant quotesthing quotesleaving quotesworld quotestires quotesmoon quotesloyal quotescompanion quotesleaves quoteswatching quotessteadfast quotesknowing quoteslight quotesdark quotesmoments quoteschanging quotesforever quoteseveryday quotesversion quotesweak quoteswan quotesstrong quotesfull quoteslight quotesunderstands quotesmeans quoteshuman quotesuncertain quotescratered quotesimperfections quotes
And he leans in, so carefully. Breathing and not breathing and hearts beating between us and he's so close, he's so close and I can't feel my legs anymore. I can't feel my fingers or the cold or the emptiness of this room because all I feel is him, everywhere, filling everything and he whispers "Please." He says, "Please don't shoot me for this.
Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee.' 'Who's Bruce Lee?' 'Who's Bruce Lee?' Kenji asks, horrified. 'Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore.' 'Why? Was he a friend of yours?' 'You know what, ' he says, 'just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now.
goddamn quotesmind quoteshundred quotessoldiers quotesextremely quotesattractive quotesman quotesj quotesbruce quoteslee quoteswhos quoteslee quoteskenji quotesasks quoteshorrified quotesoh quotesgod quotesfriends quotesanymore quoteswhy quotesfriend quotesyours quotesyou quotes quotesjust quotesstop quotesjusti quotestalk quotes
I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend. The one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know every curve, every freckle, every shiver of your body. I want to know where to touch you, I want to know how to touch you. I want to know convince you to design a smile just for me. Yes, I do want to be your friend. I want to be your best friend in the entire world.
friend quotesfall quoteshopelessly quoteslove quotesarms quotesbed quotesprivate quotesworld quotestrapped quoteshead quoteskind quotesfriend quotesmemorize quotesthings quotesshape quoteslips quotescurve quotesfreckle quotesshiver quotesbody quotestouch quotesconvince quotesdesign quotessmile quotesentire quotesworld quotes
And I've fallen. So hard. I've hit the ground. Gone right through it. Never in my life have I felt this. Nothing like this. I've felt shame and cowardice, weakness and strength. I've known terror and indifference, self-hate and general disgust. I've seen things that cannot be unseen. And yet I've known nothing like this terrible, horrible, paralyzing feeling. I feel crippled. Desperate and out of control. And it keeps getting worse. Every day I feel sick. Empty and somehow aching. Love is a heartless bastard.
fallen quoteshard quoteshit quotesground quoteslife quotesfelt quotesshame quotescowardice quotesweakness quotesstrength quotesterror quotesindifference quotesselfhate quotesgeneral quotesdisgust quotesthings quotesunseen quotesterrible quoteshorrible quotesparalyzing quotesfeeling quotesfeel quotescrippled quotesdesperate quotescontrol quotesworse quotesday quotessick quotesempty quotesaching quoteslove quotesheartless quotesbastard quotes
His hands are holding my cheeks, and he pulls back just to look me in the eye and his chest is heaving and he says, "I think, " he says, "my heart is going to explode, " and I wish, more than ever, that I knew how to capture moments like these and revisit them forever. Because this. This is everything.
Please, " he says. "I'm begging you to stop." I still. "I can't stomach your pain, " he says. "I can feel it so strongly and it's making me crazy- please, " he says to me. "Don't be sad. Or hurt. Or guilty. You've done nothing wrong." "I'm sorry-" "Don't be sorry, either, " he says. "God, the only reason I'm not going to kill Kent for this is because I know it would only upset you more.