Quick! What aisle are the douches in? I've got three bitches at the beach cottage and they all stick to high heaven."... "You do carry Massengill, don't you? That's the best brand, according to my research." "Ah... " What kind of man researches douches? A man who goes to bed with three women... "Would you mind checking your inventory in the back? I'll need more." "I'm not allowed to leave the register, but I'll be happy to page our stock boy." Douche-man grunted and flipped the package around. "It's gonna take at least two boxes for Loa. She's big. Got wide hips. Skinny legs, though. Kinda like a twenty-gallon tank on toothpicks.
quick quotesaisle quotesdouches quotesbitches quotesbeach quotescottage quotesstick quoteshigh quotesheaven quotes you quotescarry quotesmassengill quotesbrand quotesresearch quotes ah quoteskind quotesman quotesresearches quotesdouches quotesbed quoteswomen quotes would quotesmind quoteschecking quotesinventory quotesback quotes im quotesallowed quotesleave quotesregister quoteshappy quotespage quotesstock quotesboy quotes doucheman quotesgrunted quotesflipped quotespackage quotesgonna quotesboxes quotesloa quotesshes quotesbig quoteswide quoteships quotesskinny quoteslegs quoteskinda quotestwentygallon quotestank quotestoothpicks quotes
In unison, they recited an ancient rhyme. "With one blue eye to rule the sky, An eye of brown controls the ground; Magic swirls within our souls, Cryptic, mystic, spiritualistic, To protect the weak from evil's effect, Elements guide us, ever bind us. A band of witches scattered wide From Warlock Morpheus we must hide.
unison quotesrecited quotesancient quotesrhyme quotes with quotesblue quoteseye quotesrule quotessky quotes an quotesbrown quotescontrols quotesground quotes magic quotesswirls quotessouls quotes cryptic quotesmystic quotesspiritualistic quotes to quotesprotect quotesweak quotesevils quoteseffect quotes elements quotesguide quotesbind quotes a quotesband quoteswitches quotesscattered quoteswide quotes from quoteswarlock quotesmorpheus quoteshide quotes
Months ago, he'd told Effie, grandmother to his eldest brother's wife, that he was too busy to find a woman. He went on to brag he was quite happy being alone. That the only way he'd even consider a woman was if she dropped from the feckin' sky.He groaned and downed his first cup of coffee. Him and his big whisky loosened tongue.
months quotesago quoteshed quotestold quoteseffie quotesgrandmother quoteseldest quotesbrothers quoteswife quotesbusy quotesfind quoteswoman quotesbrag quoteshappy quoteswoman quotesdropped quotesfeckin quotesskyhe quotesgroaned quotesdowned quotescup quotescoffee quotesbig quoteswhisky quotesloosened quotestongue quotes
She placed her fingertips on her forehead as if trying to gather her thoughts on how to handle this unexpected scenario. "Do not run from a bear. Make yourself a large target and yell to scare the bear away. Bears are easily frightened unless it's mating season." "Oh, wouldn't it be just my horrible luck to fall on a horny bear?
fingertips quotesforehead quotesgather quotesthoughts quoteshandle quotesunexpected quotesscenario quotesrun quotesbear quotesmake quoteslarge quotestarget quotesyell quotesscare quotesbear quotesbears quoteseasily quotesfrightened quotesmating quotesseason quoteshorrible quotesluck quotesfall quoteshorny quotesbear quotes
She leaned her uninjured shoulder against his plump, furry behind and shoved while she bitched to herself, "Four years at the military academy, two years at Kansas State University, survival camp in the swamps of Alabama, more schooling in Florida, and then torture endurance training with the Mossad and all so I could heave a bear's ass into a helicopter. Unfreaking real.
leaned quotesuninjured quotesshoulder quotesplump quotesfurry quotesshoved quotesbitched quotesyears quotesmilitary quotesacademy quoteskansas quotesstate quotesuniversity quotessurvival quotescamp quotesswamps quotesalabama quotesschooling quotesflorida quotestorture quotesendurance quotestraining quotesmossad quotesheave quotesbears quotesass quoteshelicopter quotesunfreaking quotesreal quotes
He held his crotch, his knees bent and his kilt showing he wore nothing beneath it. She shuffled from one foot to the other as she stared at his Scottish bagpipe. Bet he could hit a lot of high notes with that thing. "You... you startled me when you grabbed me like that." "Well, ye needna be afraid now. I couldna molest ya, even if I wanted to, which I dinna.I'm betting foreplay with ye would be like grabbing hold of an electrical wire while sitting in a tub of water." He groaned and cussed some more. "Hell, I bet yer vagina is lined with shark's teeth.
held quotescrotch quotesknees quotesbent quoteskilt quotesshowing quoteswore quotesbeneath quotesshuffled quotesfoot quotesstared quotesscottish quotesbagpipe quotesbet quoteshit quoteslot quoteshigh quotesnotes quotesthing quotesstartled quotesgrabbed quotesye quotesneedna quotesafraid quotescouldna quotesmolest quotesya quoteswanted quotesdinnaim quotesbetting quotesforeplay quotesgrabbing quoteshold quoteselectrical quoteswire quotessitting quotestub quoteswater quotesgroaned quotescussed quoteshell quotesbet quotesyer quotesvagina quoteslined quotessharks quotesteeth quotes