For several decades, I said I believed in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit and had put my confidence in Him. The hot crucible of grief was my place to back up what I said I believed and admit to myself who my God really was: The God I claimed to know, or a false god who can be manipulated into resolving the external circumstances of my life.
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APAShelley Ramsey Quotes. (n.d.). Jar of Quotes. Retrieved , from JarofQuotes.com Web site: https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=for-several-decades-i-said-i-believed-in-god-father-god-son-god-holy-spirit-had-put-my-confidence-in-him-the-hot-crucible-grief-was-my-place-to-back-up-what-i-said-i-believed-adm
ChicagoShelley Ramsey Quotes. Jar of Quotes, 2019. https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=for-several-decades-i-said-i-believed-in-god-father-god-son-god-holy-spirit-had-put-my-confidence-in-him-the-hot-crucible-grief-was-my-place-to-back-up-what-i-said-i-believed-adm, accessed .
MLA"Shelley Ramsey Quotes." Jar of Quotes, 2019. . https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=for-several-decades-i-said-i-believed-in-god-father-god-son-god-holy-spirit-had-put-my-confidence-in-him-the-hot-crucible-grief-was-my-place-to-back-up-what-i-said-i-believed-adm
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My experience is that God will meet us anywhere. Grieving badly and under the covers? He's there. Sitting at the cemetery, wishing it were you? You're not alone. Sitting on your child's bedroom floor still in your nightgown in the middle of the afternoon? He's holding you up. God will meet you anywhere
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Just days after Joseph died, we sat down to eat dinner at the dining room table. We each sat there, choking down our food, tears streaming down our faces, and no one speaking. There was no one in his chair; his side of the table had a gaping hole. A large part of the nightly conversation was missing. Everything felt wrong.
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As I lay in my bed unable to sleep I challenged Him: Pull out another miracle. Send him back. You can do that. You're God. At that point in my grief, I envisioned how utterly fantastic it would be for others to see what a mighty and awesome God we serve. They could witness a modern-day miracle! I was convinced the only way for this to happen was for God to send Joseph back. It would be a win/win situation! Dozens would come to know Jesus-and -I'd have Joseph home in time for supper.
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I began praying for the health and safety of my boys before each one was born. Once a week for two years prior to Joseph's death, I also gathered with other moms to pray for my sons and their schools, and I specifically asked God to protect the health and safety of Joseph, Curt, and Wyatt. My prayers were not answered the way I had hoped. Despite countless prayers for Joseph to be safe, God said no. His plan remains a mystery. I have had to accept that mystery and trust Him in the dark.
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