He says, 'Anything could be happening down there, but up here you just wouldn't know it.' I know what he means. It could be pandemonium in all those little houses, everyone's dreams in a mess. But up here feels peaceful. Clean.
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APAJenny Downham Quotes. (n.d.). Jar of Quotes. Retrieved , from JarofQuotes.com Web site: https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=he-says-anything-could-be-happening-down-there-but-up-here-you-just-wouldnt-know-it-i-know-what-he-means-it-could-be-pandemonium-in-all-those-little-houses-everyones-dreams-in-me
ChicagoJenny Downham Quotes. Jar of Quotes, 2020. https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=he-says-anything-could-be-happening-down-there-but-up-here-you-just-wouldnt-know-it-i-know-what-he-means-it-could-be-pandemonium-in-all-those-little-houses-everyones-dreams-in-me, accessed .
MLA"Jenny Downham Quotes." Jar of Quotes, 2020. . https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=he-says-anything-could-be-happening-down-there-but-up-here-you-just-wouldnt-know-it-i-know-what-he-means-it-could-be-pandemonium-in-all-those-little-houses-everyones-dreams-in-me
I feel something very small growing inside me as I look at her, and I realize in one absolutely clear moment that I don't like her at all. 'You know what?' I say. 'Forget it. I'll do the list by myself.' She stands up, swings her stupid hair about and tries to look offended. It's a trick that works with guys, but it makes no difference to the way I feel about her.
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It's really going to happen. I really won't ever go back to school. Not ever. I'll never be famous or leave anything worthwhile behind. I'll never go to college or have a job. I won't see my brother grow up. I won't travel, never earn money, never drive, never fall in love or leave home or get my own house. It's really, really true. A thought stabs up, growing from my toes and ripping through me, until it stifles everything else and becomes the only thing I'm thinking. It fills me up like a silent scream.
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How late is it? How long have we been sitting here? I look at my watch "" three thirty and the day is almost ending. It's October. All those kids recently returned to classrooms with new bags and pencil cases will be looking forward to half term already. How quickly it goes. Halloween soon, then firework night. Christmas. Spring. Easter. Then there's my birthday in May. I'll be seventeen. How long can I stave it off? I don't know. All I know is that I have two choices "" stay wrapped in blankets and get on with dying, or get the list back together and get on with living.
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There's a terrible stillness. I notice a small tear in the wallpaper above her shoulder. I notice finger marks grimed on the light switch. Somewhere down in the house, a door opens and shuts. As Zoey turns to face me, I realize that life is made up of a series of moments, each one a journey to the end.
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I don't give a shit, Dad!" "Well I do! I absolutely give a shit! This will completely exhaust you." "It's my body. I can do what I like!" "So you don't care about your body now?" "No, I'm sick of it! I'm sick of doctors and needles and blood tests and transfusions. I'm sick of being stuck in a bed day after day while the rest of you get on with your lives. I hate it! I hate all of you! Adam's gone for a university interview, did you know that? He's going to be here for years doing whatever he likes and I'm going to be under the ground in a couple of weeks!
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It comes and goes. People think if you're sick you become fearless and brave, but you don't. Most of the time it's like being stalked by a psycho, like I might get shot any second. But sometimes I forget for hours.' 'What makes you forget?' 'People. Doing stuff. When I was with you in the wood, I forgot for a whole afternoon.
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Help me, Mikey, she wanted to say. I'm afraid. More afraid than you'd ever believe.' And he'd take her hand and they'd fly across the rooftops and up into space and sit on some planet and watch a double sunrise or maybe a star being born or some other event that no human had ever seen, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her. And she'd tell him everything.
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