I suffer from vertigo. It's paralyzing in extreme situations. The most scared I've been as an adult was trying to conquer that fear by going climbing in Wales.
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APAHari Kunzru Quotes. (n.d.). Jar of Quotes. Retrieved , from JarofQuotes.com Web site: https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=i-suffer-from-vertigo-its-paralyzing-in-extreme-situations-the-most-scared-ive-been-as-adult-was-trying-to-conquer-that-fear-by-going-climbing-in-hari-kunzru
ChicagoHari Kunzru Quotes. Jar of Quotes, 2019. https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=i-suffer-from-vertigo-its-paralyzing-in-extreme-situations-the-most-scared-ive-been-as-adult-was-trying-to-conquer-that-fear-by-going-climbing-in-hari-kunzru, accessed .
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In good novelistic fashion, the discovery I've made is that it's complicated. I think that's one of good things about exploring these questions in a non-polemic, fictional way: you get to feel out territory rather than take positions. Through writing this, I can understand the impulse to faith, how people make meaning, how people make community, without having to say, do this, don't do that, or I believe, I don't believe.
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What if one were to want to hunt for these hidden presences? You can't just rummage around like you're at a yard sale. You have to listen. You have to pay attention. There are certain things you can't look at directly. You need to trick them into revealing themselves. That's what we're doing with Walter, Jaz. We're juxtaposing things, listening for echoes. It's not some silly cybernetic dream of command and control, modeling the whole world so you can predict the outcome. It's certainly not a theory of everything. I don't have a theory of any kind. What I have is far more profound.' 'What's that?' 'A sense of humor.' Jaz looked at him, trying to find a clue in his gaunt face, in the clear gray eyes watching him with such - what? Amusement? Condescension? There was something about the man which brought on a sort of hermeneutic despair. He was a forest of signs. 'We're hunting for jokes.' Bachman spoke slowly, as if to a child. 'Parapraxes. Cosmic slips of the tongue. They're the key to the locked door. They'll help us discover it.' 'Discover what?' 'The face of God. What else would we be looking for?
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I tried to take seriously the idea that if you tortured language you might arrive at some new truth. Later it became clear to me that I was retreading ground by fighting the literary battles of the 1950s and 1960s, and that I was actually a bit bored by some of the books I professed to love.
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Several times in my life I've gone through long periods without sex or any other kind of physical contact. The hunger it produces is deep and low; it's possible to lose track of it, to forget or fail to perceive how it's emptied everything out of you and made the world papery and thin. Touch starved, you brush against existence like a stick against dry leaves. You become insubstantial yourself, a hungry ghost.
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I realized I had a novel on my hands, but didn't know where it was going to go. So I thought, 'I'm going to do everything that you're not supposed to do when you plan a novel; I'm going to step back and let this thing take itself wherever it wants to go, and I'm not going to worry about how things connect until later on.'
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