I think when I came into marriage -- especially when you've had divorced parents like myself... You'd want to try even harder to make it work and you don't want to fall back into a pattern that you've seen happen in your own family. I desperately want it to work; I desperately love my husband and I wanted to share everything together. And I thought that we were a very good team.
Wouldn't that be an incredibly stupid thing to do? To say 'I never want to smoke again', then spend the rest of your life saying 'I'd love a cigarette.' That's what smokers who use the Willpower Method do. No wonder they feel so miserable. They spend the rest of their lives desperately moping for something that they desperately hope they will never have.
The past has given us much too many bad answers for us not to see that the mistakes were in the questions themselves. There is no need to choose between the fetishism of spontaneity and the organization control; between the "come one, come all" of activist networks and the discipline of hierarchy; between acting desperately now and waiting desperately for later; between bracketing that which is to be lived and experimented in the name of paradise that seems more and more like a hell the longer it is put off and flogging the dead horse of how planting carrots is enough to leave this nightmare.
The Invisible Committee
Just as He had been doing even before the moment I consciously embarked on this journey, He revealed to me that it was all about love. It always has been-before the foundations of the earth-and it always will be-throughout eternity. The answers I was seeking were found in love, the healing I desperately needed also found in love. The love I sought and so desperately wanted to give was enabled, empowered, and actualized by His divine love. So nothing remains but for me to LOVE as an expression of my appreciation for His love for me: L-live an O-openly V-virtuous E-existence.
When women grow increasingly lax in their pursuit of Bible literacy, everyone in their circle of influence is affected. Rather than acting as salt and light, we become bland contributions to the environment we inhabit and shape, indistinguishable from those who have never been changed by the gospel. Home, church, community, and country desperately need the influence of women who know why they believe what they believe, grounded in the Word of God. They desperately need the influence of women who love deeply and actively the God proclaimed in the Bible.
Think back. How many of your sweetest dreams, your greatest hopes, your most cherished desires have come true? On the other hand, how much of what you didn't really care about wound up happening anyway? What you have to understand is that it's the god of solitude who also happens to be in charge of denying us what we desperately want. She does it because she believes the more we get what we desperately want, the more miserable we become, even more so than we already are. As Truman Capote put it, "More tears are shed for answered prayers than unanswered ones." So the god of solitude is only trying to help us not be miserable getting what we thought would make us happy. Though once in a while she'll let it happen to teach us the secret of happiness is to be grateful for what we already have. Not constantly wanting, trying to get more. The way to outsmart her, then, is not to care one way or the other. That way, too, when you don't get what you want, you won't be disappointed because it won't really matter.