This, Calvin realised, as Joey grinned and told him sweetly to 'Suck that dick' was what it was like to be God: utter confidence, utter trust, utter ease with yourself, no move you could not make, no tank top you could not wear, no guy who would not worship you, not ever. This was the end state. Bliss.
He awoke, opened his eye. The room meant very little to him; he was too deeply immersed in the non-being from which he had just come. If he had not the energy to ascertain his position in time and space, he also lacked the desire... In utter comfort, utter relaxation he lay absolutely still for a while, and then sank back into on the the light momentary sleeps that occur after a long, profound one.
Where were me parents? Where were Becky? I felt so alone, so lost that I could not see. By that I mean, everything round me were a blur, everything inside me were a blur of fear and shock. I heard meself crying and moaning, My oh my, my oh my... I still have nightmares 'bout that time. I still feel like a sharp piece of ice has stabbed me heart real deep. I was filled, filled to the brim with utter baffle and utter loneliness. p. 15
I early learned that there were two natures in me. This caused me a great deal of trouble, till I worked out a philosophy of life and struck a compromise between the flesh and the spirit. Too great an ascendancy of either was to be abnormal, and since normality is almost a fetish of mine, I finally succeeded in balancing both natures. Ordinarily they are at equilibrium; yet as frequently as one is permitted to run rampant, so is the other. I have small regard for an utter brute or for an utter saint.
We must take our sentences seriously, which means we must understand them philosophically, and the odd thing is that the few who do, who take them with utter sober seriousness, the utter sober seriousness of right-wing parsons and political saviors, the owners of Pomeranians, are the liars who want to be believed, the novelists and poets, who know that the creatures they imagine have no other being than the sounding syllables which the reader will speak into his own weary and distracted head. There are no magic words. To say the words is magical enough.
William H. Gass
Listening is totally different from hearing. Hearing, anybody who is not deaf can do. Listening is a rare art, one of the last arts. Listening means not only hearing with the ears but hearing from the heart, in utter silence, in absolute peace, with no resistance. One has to be vulnerable to listen, and one has to be in deep love to listen. One has to be in utter surrender to listen.
BEFORE THE CREATION OF TIME WHEN NOTHINGNESS WAS ALL AND A FIERY STAR'S IMPLOSION CAUSED THE UNIVERSE TO FALL WORLDS IN UTTER CHAOS AND PLAGUE WERE DOOMED TO DIE AT LAST VANISHED IN THE BLACKEST VOID A RECREATION OF THE PAST BEFORE THE CREATION OF TIME WHEN EMPTYNESS WAS ALL UTTER DARKNESS ENLIGHTS THE WAY TO THE SURROUNDING WALLS JOURNEY THROUGH WHAT MUSTN'T BE SEEN TO WHERE NO LIFE DWELLS WISDOM OF THE FIRST CREATION NO ONE SHALL LIVE TO TELL BEFORE THE CREATION OF TIME WHEN NOTHINGNESS WAS ALL AND A BLAZING STAR'S IMPLOSION CAUSED THE UNIVERSE TO FALL MEMORIES OF A FROZEN TIME BEYOND THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SHOW A NEW CREATION SOON TO BE UNLEASHED IN THE SHADOWED DEPTHS BELOW GOODBYE MOTHER EARTH...