George Saunders Quotes

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I hold the biscuits in front of his face and he stands up. "What do I have to do?" he says. "Nothing, " I say. "They're for you." "Are they poisoned?" he says. "No, " I say. "Eat one, " he says. So I do. "Probably the others are poisoned, " he says. "Eat a fraction of each." I eat a corner off each biscuit. He looks at the reminders suspiciously, then sniffs them. "I'm not sure it's worth it, " he says. "How I wish you'd never come. Perhaps you've left the poison off of just those corners." I begin to realize I'll doubt whatever information he gives me. "Lick the entire biscuit, " he says. "Then give them to me." So I lick each biscuit. "Both sides, " he says. I lick both sides of each biscuit. I give him the wet biscuits and he cracks them open and sniffs them. Then he puts them in his pocket. "What do you want?" he says. "Now that you've failed to poison me to death.

-George Saunders


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