APADave Attell Quotes. (n.d.). Jar of Quotes. Retrieved , from JarofQuotes.com Web site: https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=once-you-get-offstage-youre-just-like-everyone-else-everyone-else-can-get-into-fight-dave-attell
ChicagoDave Attell Quotes. Jar of Quotes, 2019. https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=once-you-get-offstage-youre-just-like-everyone-else-everyone-else-can-get-into-fight-dave-attell, accessed .
MLA"Dave Attell Quotes." Jar of Quotes, 2019. . https://www.jarofquotes.com/view.php?id=once-you-get-offstage-youre-just-like-everyone-else-everyone-else-can-get-into-fight-dave-attell
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I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No-I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.
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This one guy, the worse guy in the music. The Yanni man. You know Yanni? First of all, anyone who looks like a magician and doesn't do magic, I don't like. I don't even like magic, I hate it. But I love the word, "Ta-da"! I love that word! I don't get to say it, right? I never do any magic. You just cant go around walking, "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" The only time I can say it is when I do something really stupid or surprising. Like if I go out all night drinking and hitting strip clubs and I come home and I still got some money .... "Ta--da!" I thought I was broke. Why does my jaw hurt?
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Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.
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