Antithesis may be the blossom of wit, but it will never arrive at maturity unless sound sense be the trunk and truth the root. CHARLES CALEB COLTON, Lacon; Or, Many Things in a Few Words Light, whether it be material or moral, is the best reformer; for it prevents those disorders which other remedies sometimes cure, but sometimes confirm.
Charles Caleb Colton
There's no magical healing in this. I won't wake up tomorrow fixed and joyful. I'll still hurt and grieve. But moments like this, with Colton? They make it all bearable. He doesn't fix me, doesn't heal me. He just makes life worthwhile. He helps me remember to breathe, shows me how to smile again. He kisses me, and I can forget pain, forget the urges I still have to cut for the pain that erases the emotions.
When the power of the shift rips the human body apart and transforms it into its new shape, there lives a second, less than a second, a mere shimmer of time when the mind is without a home, no body to call its own. Existence is painless in there, nothing but formlessness beyond understanding. A secret place, it contains nothing but the essence of self, a lost self. In the fire of pain, Colton found a whisper of that place, its ghost, its echo, and from that echo he withdrew a thread of deepest black.
But do you think our futures are already determined for us?' 'Why are you asking all of this? What's going on?' I let out a small laugh. 'Remember when we were in the hallway?' He nodded. 'Well, Thirteen tried telling me that I couldn't escape my fate and that there was no point in fighting the inevitable.' 'Do you think it is inevitable?' he asked. 'Me?' I scoffed. 'No. Nothing is ever guaranteed. One minor adjustment can alter everything. Nothing is ever set in stone. As of right now, we're all on one path: we're all stuck inside of this hell that we're trying to escape, and it may seem like the outcome has already been determined for us, but it hasn't. The smallest of things could change everything. A death. Deception. Anything could force us to follow another path, and you know what? We determine that path, not fate.' 'What path do you see yourself on?' Colton hopped up onto the computer desk, tucking his hands underneath his thighs. 'I see us starting new lives outside of this place, far from McVeigh and his men, ' I answered honestly. 'But I know not all of us will make it out of here. There is still more pain to come our way, but there is also happiness if we allow for it.